today's laugh
"It looks like rain," said
the boarding house hasher as he set a bowl of soup in
front of one of his boarders.
"Yes it does," he replied, getting a whiff of
it, "but it smells a little like soup."
Editor- "Did you write this
poem?"
Contributor- "Yes, every line of it."
Editor- "Then Im glad to meet you, Edgar Allan
Poe, I thought you were dead long ago."
1901
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
THE Q. C. MASQUERADE.
Jolly Function Last
Night at the Home of Miss Bernice Bell.
The masquerade party given last night
by the "Q. C." girls at the home of Miss
Bernice Bell was one of the most enjoyable events of the
holiday season.
Nearly every one present was masqued
and the comic costumes furnished much amusement while the
nicer ones excited admiration.
Music and conversation were the order
of the evening and caused much pleasure to all.
The following were the masqueraders and
the costumes worn.
Miss Ethel Whitney and her guest, Miss
Helen Barton, of Springfield, "fancy dresses."
Edith Harrison, "school
girl."
Lulu Kilgore, "milk maid."
Flora Caffee and Tressa Brinkley,
"spinsters."
Bernice Bell and Nan Snell, "Red
Riding Hood."
Edith Evans, of Joplin, the guest of
Lulu Kilgore, "Colonial dame."
Katherine Betts, "old fashioned
girl."
Una Hankle, "summer girl."
James Logan, "John Kate of
Arkansaw."
Roscoe Perkins, "Weary
Willie."
Dillard Parker, "Military
officer."
Will Wright, "Mephisto."
Henry Schlect, "cow boy."
Arthur Zane, "sport."
Arthur Alexander, "pawn
shopman."
Bond Haughawout, "The crap
shooting tycoon."
Those present who were not masqueraded
were Messrs. Will Barton, of Springfield and Ray Hoffman,
of St. Joseph, Mo.
|
Today's Feature
From
the Council.
The City Council approved a
contract Tuesday evening with Phillips-Ward and
Assoc. to provide major publicity purchases and
packaging of materials which is to be used by the
Fourth of July celebration fund raising chairman
for promoting the event and securing sponsors.
The contract was for $3,000 plus 15% of ads
placed by the agency. The initial budget shows
that $13,000 is planned for publicity. The vote
was 9-1 with member H.J. Johnson voting against.
Johnson said he was not opposed to the basic
contract, but saw no reason to pay the additional
15%.
The Council also approved three
separate Council bills that allow construction of
Hornback Avenue and modifications to Airport
Drive. The contract for the bulk of the work was
awarded to Alumbaugh Construction and will
include the expansion of Airport Drive to a three
lane roadway as it approaches Grand Avenue from
the west.
Also included in the contract
is the long awaited construction of curb and
gutter along a portion of Hazel Avenue.
A sum of $16,610 was allocated
for projects in Griggs, Carter and Central Parks.
|
|
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I got whacked
pretty good with a baseball bat when
I was a kid. Some probly
figured as much. My older brother did
the deed and I have become convinced
over the years that it wasnt
intentional. The thought of that
incident probly sends chills
down his back but I really dont
remember it much. Im
guessin I had a pretty good
goose egg on my noggin for a
while.
I can remember
hearin old timers talkin
bout their amazement of
livin as long as they did.
Im gettin a better idea
of what they were talkin about
as I look back at the times when I
came close to major injury from time
to time. With the passin years,
I have been able tell mom about most
of em. There are still a couple
Im savin till she matures
a little more.
This is some fact,
but mostly,
Just Jake
Talkin.
|
Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
|
Weekly Column
Click
& Clack
TALK CARS
by Tom & Ray Magliozzi
Dear Tom and Ray:
I have a 1989 Buick Century.
Recently, the left directional flasher went out
(i.e. stopped flashing). The local
service-station mechanic didnt have a clue.
He said about an hours labor plus parts.
I took it to another station
and was told anywhere from $3 to $125. Then I
called two Buick dealers and they couldnt
give me a firm estimate either. What would be a
fair amount to pay to fix this problem? No one
can tell me. -Jerry.
RAY: In many cases, Jerry, this
problem is caused by a burned-out bulb in one of
your directional lamps.
TOM: The flasher is affected by
resistance. And if one of the bulbs burns out,
the resistance changes. Then the flasher either
flashes very rapidly or stops flashing to let you
know a bulb is out. So by turning in the
blinkers, and comparing the right side, which is
working, to the left side (look carefully,
because each lamp contains several bulbs), you
should be able to tell if youre down a
bulb.
RAY: And if thats the
case, you have a $3 fix.
TOM: If its not the bulb,
then it probably is the flasher (occasionally, we
do see a flasher that works on one side but not
the other). The flasher is a round,
ice-cube-sized relay that plugs in under the
dashboard. And you can find it by listening for
it. Lie on your back on the drivers side
floor with a flashlight, turn on the blinker to
the side that works, and listen for the little
box thats clicking.
RAY: When you find it, pull it
out, bring it to your local auto-parts store, and
say, "Give me one of these."
TOM: By the way, thats
also a $3 fix.
|
Copyright 1997-2000 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
|