today's laugh
The trouble with owning your own home
is that no matter where you sit, youre looking at
something that has to be done.
On a flight, the pilot announces over
the intercom, "Our menu today is baked chicken,
roast beef, or lasagna. If you dont get your first
choice, youll never know."
Theyve checked into the fanciest
hotel on the Hawaii Islands. As they walk on the beach,
the wife picks up a shell and holds it to her
husbands ear. "Cant you hear the roar of
the ocean?" she asks.
"Nope. All I can hear isthree hundred a day
and no meals."
The easiest way to find something you
lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
1901
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Davis Furnishes Bond.
Chas. S. Davis of this city, recently
indicted on a charge of obtaining money under false
pretenses in connection with sinking the Buff Cochin mine
deeper for Dr. Chester, Collector Emry and others, and
has since been in jail, furnished bail yesterday evening
and was released.
He states that he can soon secure bond
for his partner Mr. Vaughn, who was also indicted. The
latter is the one who had a daughter born since he went
to jail, and he is particularly anxious to get out and
see it.
24 Above Zero.
The thermometer registered 24 degrees
above zero this morning. There has been but one other
morning this winter when the temperature was as low.
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Today's Feature
Intoxicating
Agenda.
The City Council Public Safety
Committee is scheduled to meet this evening in
the Police Station at 6:30 p.m.
The agenda includes
consideration of regulations concerning the
licensing of establishments selling liquor by the
drink. The City currently has no fees for
operation of such businesses although the State
issues licenses.
Discussion at the last meeting
indicates the Committee will recommend a regular
license fee between $50 and $75, a separate
Sunday license fee of $300, which is the highest
allowed by the State, and hours of operation
matching those of packaged liquor stores. The
Committee has requested information regarding the
possibility of limiting the number of licenses
issued.
The agenda also includes a
consideration of a conflict in the City and State
regulations concerning bars selling intoxicating
liquor being open on Super Bowl Sunday.
City Code currently allows
exception when New Years Eve falls on a
Sunday, but makes no mention of other holidays.
The State allows exception for the Super Bowl,
St. Patricks, July 4th and others.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
It may be time ta
start seriously considerin an
alternative heating arrangement.
Suddenly Im tryin to
remember where I stored all those
Mother Earth magazines.
I see some are
lookin at electric space
heaters as a way to control heated
space. The problem is that most power
plants are converted to natural gas
now. The high prices for gas are
goin ta drive electric costs up
also. Thats the fix California
is in now.
It is a
reassurin to know we have an
electrical generatin plant here
in town. It can use gas or fuel oil
so were sittin bout
as good as anybody.
Im
figurin on seein more of
those solar panels go up like in the
seventies. That and the sale of long
johns should see a radical increase.
This is some fact,
but mostly,
Just Jake
Talkin.
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Workman's Loan
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Weekly Column
Natural Nutrition
by Al Carrell & Kelly
Carrell
Dear Kelly: I love my rock
fireplace, but the stones were starting to look
dull, so I decided to try to enhance the color
and clean them up.
I mixed two parts of boiled
linseed oil with one part turpentine. Then I put
the container with the mixture into a large pan
of hot water to warm it up a bit. I wiped the
mixture on the stones with a rag and then wiped
off the excess. Its been a couple of months
now, and friends are still remarking how great it
looks. - S. A.
As turpentine and boiled
linseed oil are flammable, keep them away from
flames. Use rubber gloves, and allow for plenty
of ventilation. Also, to be on the safe side,
rinse the stones after youve cleaned them,
and then wait a day or so before using the
fireplace.
Dear Al: Sometimes when I try
to use my old masking tape, it is too dry and
sticks to itself and makes a real mess. I have
found that you can revive a roll of tape in a
microwave. A few seconds on high, and your tape
will act like new again. It also works on
electrical tape and the white tape used for
bandaging. - P. A.
Just make sure the tape
dispenser isnt made of metal.
Dear Al & Kelly: Sometimes
when I am drilling or cutting a hole in a narrow
board, I find that the wood splits. I have tried,
and proved that you can put clamps around the
narrow board to hold the sides together when you
cut, and that way the wood is much less likely to
split. - C. P.
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