The Mornin' Mail is
published every weekday except major holidays
Thursday, December 5, 2002 Volume XI, Number 120
did ya
know?
Did Ya Know?. . .The Friends of the Carthage Public Library
will hold their last monthly booksale for 2002 from 8
a.m.-noon on Sat., Dec. 7th in the Library Annex. Pick up
some stocking stuffers.
Did Ya Know?. . .The Carthage
Humane Societys Gift Shop for Pets and Pet Lovers
will be open from 10 a.m.- 2 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 14th.
A mini "Flea Market" will also be featured.
Santa arrives at 11:30 for pictures. Proceeds help
Carthages neediest animals. Vendors may call
358-6808.
Did Ya Know?. . .The Calvary
Baptist Church, 528 E. 13th St., will have a hanging of
the Green service at 6 p.m. on Dec. 8th. Refreshments
will be served.
Did Ya Know?. . .The Kids
Praise Singers of Carthage First Church of the Nazarene,
2000 Grand, will present the Christmas musical, The
Mighty Messengers, on Sun., Dec. 8th at 10:30 a.m.
Everyone is invited to attend.
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today's
laugh
Wife One: What does you
husband do for a hobby?
Wife Two: Hes a do-it-yourself
taxidermist.
Wife One: A do-it-yourself taxidermist?
Wife Two: Yes, every night at dinner he
stuffs himself.
1902
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of
Events as they have Transpired in the City and County
since our last Issue.
THE
CASE OF A MUSTACHE.
About the Hair That
Isnt There and Why the Hair is Missing.
The High School Crescent society will
hold their regular semi-monthly open meeting Friday night
in the High school assembly room. An excellent program
has been prepared, one of the principal features of which
will be a "mock trial," in which Frank Calkins
will prosecute Harvey Goble for cutting off one half of
his mustache and selling it to a hair mattress factory.
The incident is alleged to have
occurred several days ago. It is further alleged that a
number of students caught Frank Calkins and shaved off
one half of his mustache hence the suit.
As a result of this incident a notice
has been hung up in the High school which reads as
follows, "First class barber work done in the High
school basement. Shaving a specialty. Harvey Goble,
tonsorial artist."
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Today's Feature
Carthage Fire Department Donates Toys.
The Carthage Fire department,
KODE 12, and other area Fire departments are
working together to provide Christmas toys for
local children.
The toys will be distributed at
a Christmas dinner for the children and their
families on Dec. 19th at the Joplin American
Legion building at Fourth Street and
Schifferdecker Avenue.
New toys and used ones in good
condition are being accepted. The Firemen give
the children new toys and used toys that are in
good condition. Toys may be left at the Carthage
Fire Dept. and Wal-Mart Supercenter in the red
toy collection box.
An educational toy will be
purchased for each child in Jasper, McDonald, and
Newton counties Head Start Programs.
Residents who know of families
that might need help may call 417-624-1851 or
stop by the Carthage Fire Dept. and fill out a
Christmas application. Applications are screened
with other toy programs before being accepted to
prevent families from receiving Christmas help
from more than one agency. Families are referred
by employers, churches, neighbors, schools,
Economic Security Corp., and other toy programs
that are no longer accepting applications.
If you would like to make a
cash donation to buy new toys or help with the
Christmas dinner make your check payable to the
Firefighters "Christmas for Kids."
Donations may be left at the Carthage Fire
Station.
Mid-America Title Loans in
Joplin will be matching all cash contributions
made to our toy program until Dec. 19th. Please
contact Battalion Chief Ron Hitchcock at the
Carthage Fire Department for more information.
NASCAR
to the Max
The fans of NASCAR Winston Cup
racing consider the period between the last race
of the season and the next years season
opening Daytona 500 the off season. To the teams,
there is never an off-season. They begin racing
in mid-February and run through mid-November, a
span of 38 race weekends (counting two non-points
paying events) with very few weekends off during
the season. The last 20 races of the season are
run on consecutive weekends.
Many of the drivers are able to
take some much needed time off, but the crews, or
"the guys in the shop" as their drivers
like to call them, have little or no time off. In
fact many teams were testing the week after the
season ended on November 17. Robert Yates
teammates Elliott Sadler and Dale Jarrett were
testing next years cars and setups on November 19
and 20 which meant the guys in the shop had to
have the cars ready and in route to the track
before the season even ended. Open testing for
all teams will be held in mid-January at Daytona,
FL in preparation for the Daytona 500 on February
16.
This years points
champion Tony Stewart has lived a whirlwind
existence since the season ended and he locked up
the championship. Stewarts idea of relaxing
is to race sprint cars. He has run several sprint
car races the past two weeks, even winning the
sprint car feature at the Turkey Night Grand
Prix.
To further complicate
Stewarts schedule, the NASCAR Championship
Banquet will be held this Friday, December 6 in
New York City. Before Stewart claims his check,
which will total over three million dollars, he
is making numerous media and television visits
including Regis and Kelly and The Today Show.
Perhaps the highlight of his week, besides the
check, was his visit to the White House and a
visit with President Bush in the Oval Office.
Stewart and Gibbs got to spend about fifteen
minutes with the Commander in Chief and presented
him with an autographed helmet during their
meeting.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Looks like its time
to test the new ban on sleddin out at
the golf course. From what I understand,
yesterday there wasnt much traffic
lookin for a hill ta slide down.
For those who must, the
hill in Muni Park by the old maintenance
buildin is still open for the sliders.
Just the golf course is off limits. If
youre not sure, ya might wanna check at
the Parks Buildin fore ya unload.
Ive never used an
inner tube for sleddin, but it always
looked like a good way ta go. Course
with the apparent lack of control, Id
want plenty of wide open space.
The biggest problem I have
with gettin out the sled is not the
danger, but the climb back up the hill.
Id like ta find a nice long hill, with
a cleared road for the car ta come pick me up
at the bottom. And, of course, heated socks.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column
Click & Clack
TALK CARS
by Tom & Ray Magliozzi
Dear Tom and
Ray:
I was amazed that the GM
website could not answer my simple question: What
is the best speed to achieve optimum miles per
gallon for my 01 Pontiac Montana minivan?
It even suggested that theres nowhere I can
go to get that piece of information. Come, now.
You mean NO ONE has that information?
Wouldnt it be a simple matter of, say, the
government hooking your car up to a testing
machine and coming out with not just the best
speed, but a line chart showing how higher and
lower speeds make the vehicle progressively less
fuel-efficient? Id love to know, since I
have a bit of a lead foot. But Im also a
cheapskate, so this information might help me
modify my bad behavior, if you know what I mean.
Thanks. Gene.
TOM: Fear not, Gene. We have
the answer. We know the exact speed at which your
vehicle gets the maximum fuel economy.
RAY: Yeah, Zero. When its
parked in the garage, with the engine off. You
cant do and better than that.
TOM: When its moving,
its a little harder to determine the exact
speed. It will vary depending on roads, the
weather and whether the driver accelerates gently
or drives like a knucklehead (hint, hint).
RAY: But if youre looking
for a pretty good estimate, here it is: What you
want is the spot where the engine is moving
slowly, yet the wheels are turning quickly. And
that spot the sweet spot is the
speed just after it shifts into its highest gear.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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