today's
laugh
Patient- "Doctor,
Im bothered with a strange pain. When I bend
forward, stretch out my arms and make a semicircular
movement with them, a sharp string comes in my left
shoulder."
Doctor- "Why make such
motions?"
Patient- "Well, if you know any other way for a man
to get on his overcoat, I wish youd tell me."
"Oh, doctor," cried a
wild-eyed man, "Im dreadfully afflicted. The
ghosts of my departed relatives come and perch on the
tops of the fence posts all around my garden when dusk is
falling. I can look out any evening and see a couple of
dozen spooks sitting on the fence, waiting, waiting,
waiting. What shall I do?"
"Sharpen the tops of the posts," advised the
doctor.
1902
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of
Events as they have Transpired in the City and County
since our last Issue.
Martin
McNerney Gets a Spill.
Martin A. McNerney got a bad spill from
his road wagon yesterday afternoon while driving from his
quarry mill to town.
He came by Kendricktown, through the
Carthage Marble & White Lime Companys yards,
and there his horse was scared at a car load of timber,
dumped Mr. McNerney out against the quarry mill, and ran
for the brush, where he was caught by employees at the
mill.
An Open Knife In His
Pocket.
Murry Bradford, a student at the High
School, was badly cut in the leg yesterday while
exercising on the grounds, by his dissecting knife which
he had open in his pocket. By throwing himself into a
stooping posture, the razor-like knife blade was thrust
through his clothing into his flesh, making quite a
severe wound.
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Today's Feature
Lower
Golf Fees To Be Discussed.
The City Council Public
Services Committee is scheduled to meet this
evening for a special meeting at the Park
Department building in Muni Park at 7 p.m. The
Committee is slated to discuss the possibility of
lowering golf fees, at least at selected times,
for the upcoming season.
The proposed one season
adjustment is seen as a way to keep current
players during the upcoming redevelopment of the
back nine. The Council approved an increase in
fees late last year as preparation for covering a
portion of the cost for the renovation.
Annual passes typically are
promoted in February. Some reluctance of players
to commit to a full fee for the season has
prompted the discussion. Fees for tournaments
will likely be reduced during the construction
also.
The Committee will also hear
details of the proposal to modify the roof on
Memorial Hall to a pitched design by adding a
framed structure over the existing barrel shaped
roof. The Committee heard the proposal during its
last regular meeting but requested more
information on costs and an opinion from the
architect.
Commentary
Martin
"Bubs" Hohulin
State Representative, District 126
We started the new Session this
week with little fanfare. In the coming weeks, I
will be going over some of the legislation that
has been filed.
This week though, I want to
talk about where your tax dollars are going and
for what.
Thanks to the idiocy of
affirmative action, we have lost sight of what is
important concerning the construction of a bridge
in St. Louis.
According to the law, projects
that are paid for with a certain percentage of
federal money have to have a certain amount of
the work performed by minority or women
contractors. It doesnt matter if this adds
to the cost of the project or not. In the name of
political correctness, we are dipping into the
taxpayers pockets and spreading money
around based on someones skin color or body
parts.
Now, in St. Louis, the Missouri
Dept. of Highways and Transportation is demanding
that a contractor pay over $800,000.00 in fines
for failing to use enough minority and/or women
contractors on a job. Never mind that the job is
done and was done right. Apparently it is more
important that we continue to advance reverse
discrimination, otherwise known as affirmative
action, than it is to have a safe bridge.
It doesnt bother me to
say that I think laws like affirmative action and
Americans with Disabilities Act are some of the
worst laws that have been passed in the history
of our country. It is easy to be generous with
someone elses money, but I wonder how many
of these left wing do-gooders make it a point to
first look for a minority contractor when they
want to add a room onto their house. Do you
suppose they will make sure they have a bathroom
to accommodate a guest that might be in a
wheelchair? Not likely, but you can bet they will
make sure that someone who is just trying to make
a living while still meeting payroll and dozens
of regulations will have to spend untold amounts
of money and time to make sure they are hiring
enough blacks. Whatever happened to hiring the
best person for the job? If I were black or a
woman, I would be insulted that liberal
politicians would think I wasnt good enough
to get a job on my merits, that I would need them
to make sure I was taken care of.
In the pursuit of being
politically correct, we have lost sight of what
our main goal should be. We should be in the
business of giving the citizens the best value
for their tax dollars. What we have turned into
is a politically correct machine that
redistributes tax dollars.
As usual, I can be reached at
House Post Office, State Capitol, Jefferson City,
MO 65101 or 1-800-878-7126, or
mhohulin@services.state.mo.us for your questions,
comments, or advice.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
After the 60 degree weather
last week, I find myself concerned that we
havent had a good, hard freeze yet this
winter and time is runnin out.
Course it takes a
good freeze to keep down the critters when
summer comes around, or so Ive always
been led to believe. Hopefully we get a few
cold days and get it over with and get back
to this early spring weather.
From what they say on the
weather reports this 40s highs and
20s lows are "normal" for
this time a year. For some reason Ive
always thought a January as bein a
little cooler than that. Suppose ya just
remember those 18 degree highs with 40 mile
per hour winds more. But then, Ive
never been one ta really recognize
"normal."
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
McCune- Brooks Hospital
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Weekly Column
Health Notes
by Judith Sheldon
Screwdrivers are about the most
used of all tools. Heres a great way to
store them. Use a round salt box. Fill it with
sand, and keep the screwdrivers with the tips
poked in the sand. The sand keeps the
screwdrivers upright and keeps the container from
falling over. Its easy to pull out a
particular screwdriver when you need it. The sand
also protects the tools. A drop or two of
lightweight oil in the sand would give them even
more protection.
Super Hint - If you keep a few
basic tools in the trunk of the car and are tired
of listening to them rattle around back there,
store them in some rubber boots. The boots can
keep your tools quiet, and with winter weather
around the corner, the boots might come in handy.
Super Hint - To get a better
seal on a half-used can of paint and keep it from
drying out, put the lid on the can and then turn
it upside down for a couple of seconds. The paint
itself helps seal the can.
Q: We are planning to pour a
new, circular concrete driveway this fall. Is
there a rule of thumb on how far apart the
expansion joints should be located in a circular
drive? - H. H.
A: If the circular drive starts
at a concrete walk, you must have an expansion
joint at both ends. In between, shoot for
additional joints about every eight feet or so.
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Heritage Publishing. All rights reserved.
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