Mornin' Mail

The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Monday, October 14, 2002 Volume XI, Number 83

did ya know?

Did Ya Know?. . .The McCune-Brooks Hospital will have free Friends and Family CPR classes starting at 5 p.m. on Tuesday, October 15th in the mbh cafeteria. Snacks provided. Call 359-2423 or 359-2432 to register.

today's laugh

A young man went into a dating service, and the clerk put his data in the computer. He was 6’1", handsome, had fifty oil wells and $10 million. On the way out, the computer mugged him.

He came home and said to his wife, "Honey, you wouldn’t want to go to the opening of that new Broadway show in that old gown of yours, would you?"
His wife said, "Of course not."
He said, "Great. That’s why I only bought one ticket."

Little Timmy enjoyed nothing more than sucking his thumb. It tasted better than food. To break him of the habit, as he was almost six, his mother told him, "If you keep sucking on your thumb, your stomach will blow up. It’ll become so big, you’ll burst."

A few days later, it was his mother’s turn to hose the bridge club. The last to arrive was Mrs. Bronson, who was about eight months pregnant. Timmy looked at her and said, "I know what you’ve been doing."

1902
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

TALES OF THE THEATRE.

The power of the theatre is not generally understood, but that it exerts on its patrons an influence cannot be denied. Books may teach pernicious doctrines, lectures may gloss evils with a polish that may make them appear desirable to the young, but ninety-nine per cent of the dramas show in vivid colors that vice is always punished and virtue rewarded. This is a fact overlooked by those who decry the theatres, though it is one that requires no proof. Take for instance the great detective play, "Caught in the Web" presented at the Grand Opera House. It is a model for boys and young men, teaching them how by self-reliance, courage and manliness they can bring out a class of wrong, and it will assist the youth to be honest and upright. The vice and wickedness does not pay, as is shown clearly in this play, and that alone is sufficient recommendation for it’s power of good.

	Today's Feature Carthage Area United Way Day of Caring. The third annual Carthage Area United Way Day of Caring is set for Tuesday, October 15, 2002. Employees from local businesses will spend a half day volunteering at Carthage Area United Way health and human service agencies. Volunteers will spend the time performing a number of tasks: painting buildings, sprucing up campgrounds, sorting clothing for needy families, doing yard work at group homes, assisting with activities for children, etc. Over 40 volunteers will participate in the 2002 Carthage Area United Way Day of Caring. The volunteers represent 15 different companies. In 4 hours, they will perform 12 projects in 8 agencies of our Carthage Area United Way’s 17 health and human service agencies. Over 160 hours of volunteer service will be donated by the participants. Volunteers will meet at The Salvation Army at 8:00 a.m. for a Preview and thank you continental breakfast. Volunteers will reconvene at the Salvation Army for a picnic lunch provided by Arvest Bank.
	Just Jake Talkin' Mornin', The dad of a high school friend a mine always used ta tell him that it didn’t cost anymore ta keep the top half of his ‘57 Chevy’s gas tank full than it did the bottom half. ‘Course he owned a gas station. I once ran out of gas and coasted to a halt directly in front of a driveway just as the lady (?) drove up ta pull in that particular drive. "If ya can’t afford the gas, ya shouldn’t own it," she comforted, in a snide voice. And, of course, my granddad’s observation that it’s not the initial cost of a diner table, it’s the upkeep that’s expensive. Then the classic, "Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth," and I would add, "unless ya have ta feed it." ‘Course all these pearls of wisdom are naturally more useful as advice to others rather than self improvement. This is some fact, but mostly, Just Jake Talkin’.
Sponsored by Carthage Printing Services	Weekly Column Natural Nutrition by Mari An Willis THIS IS A HAMMER by Sam Mazzotta Q: When I try to flush the toilet, it doesn’t flush all the way unless I hold the handle down through the whole thing. How do I fix this? — Glen S., Mechanicville, N.Y. A: The problem, most likely, is the chain connecting the flapper valve to the flush handle. Open the toilet tank up and look inside. You’ll see a thin metal rod extending horizontally from the flush handle, and attached to it is either a chain or a vertical rod, the end of which is attached to the top of the flapper valve — the large rubber stopper at the bottom of the tank. When properly attached, the rod-and-chain assembly lifts the flapper valve up, allowing water from the tank to rush into the bowl below. When the tank is emptied, the flapper valve closes and allows water to fill it again. Make sure the chain (or rod) is attached to the valve, and that there are no kinks in it. If the chain is too long to lift the valve up completely, shorten it by looping a few links over the hook (or attachment) at the end of the rod. If you have a vertical rod and it won’t lift the valve, bend it slightly to shorten it. Don’t shorten the chain or rod so much that the flapper valve won’t close, because water will constantly run out of the tank. That should do it! HOME TIP: To keep deer from eating your shrubs or trees, put a bar of soap into the toe of an old nylon stocking and tie the stocking to a branch. Place these makeshift deterrents wherever you need them.