today's laugh
Salesman - "Ladies and gentlemen,
I have here the famous flexible comb that will stand any
kind of treatment. You can bend it double you can
hit it with a hammer you can twist it you
can "
Interested Listener - "Say,
mister, can you comb your hair with it?"
First Floorwalker - "Poor old
Perkins has completely lost his hearing. Im afraid
hell lose his job."
Second Floorwalker - "Nonsense.
Hes to be transferred to the Complaint
Department."
1904
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
MARRIED IN COLORADO.
Wedding of David L.
Emry and
Miss Cora Bell Austin Announced.
Word has been received in Carthage
announcing the marriage of David L. Emry to Miss Cora
Bell Austin in Colorado. They will make their future home
in Ft. Collins, Colo.
David Emry is a brother of C. A. Emry
of this city and was one of the prospectors in Alaska,
where, it is said, he secured quite a fortune. The bride
is a former Jasper county girl. When her parents, Mr. and
Mrs. N. Austin, left here to go to Colorado some years
ago, Miss Cora remained here, making her home with Mr.
and Mrs. F. B. Hatch.
The Uncle Josh Spruceby company arrived
in the city this morning. They gave a street concert on
the square at noon with a hayseed band that was fully
characteristic in detail.
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Today's Feature
Presidential Primary.
The Missouri presidential
primary is tomorrow. This is Missouris
third presidential primary, the other two were
held in 1988 and 2000. According to Jasper County
Clerk Ron Mosbaugh this years presidential
primary will cost Jasper County no more than
$75,000 and the County is reimbursed by the
state.
"Actually we have already
received the check," said Mosbaugh.
Registered voters in Carthage
can vote Tuesday at their respective poll
locations from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.
Secretary of State Matt Blunt
is predicting that 23 percent of the states
3.6 million registered voters will go to the
polls Tuesday. Blunt is encouraging all Missouri
voters to participate in the presidential
primary.
There are ten Democratic
candidates including front runners Wesley Clark,
John Edwards, Howard Dean and John Kerry. There
are three Libertarian candidates and three
Republicans including George W. Bush.
The final results will be
reported to respective parties by February 20th.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',I dont
know bout the other counties in the state,
but Im sure Jasper would rather have the
$75,000 than a presidential election. Oh, I know
a certain portion of that money gets put into the
local economy, but most is just poured down the
political drain. State wide, the number must be
enormous for puttin on a show for a mention
in the news. "Missouri nominates
so-and-so."
When it comes down to it, the
Missouri primary doesnt really mean much.
In all likelihood, there will be less than 15,000
voters get out in Jasper County. Thats five
dollars a head in cost to the state.
Why not just take out an ad on
a national broadcast sayin, "Missouri
will support whoever everone else
nominates." Then spend the rest of that
election money on somethin that makes a
difference.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Carthage Printing
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Weekly Column
THIS IS A
HAMMER
By Samantha Mazzotta
Dishwasher
Tips
Q: When the dishwasher is
running, water droplets leak from around the
door. Is this normal in older washers (i.e.,
condensation), or is the seal broken? Lacy
T., Valdosta, Ga.
A: Water leaking around the
door of a dishwasher is most likely caused by a
worn or cracked gasket. However, the door itself
may be at fault, too and in older models
both these problems may be evident.
Find out by inspecting the
gasket for cracks, warping or other damage. (If
its gunky or moldy, wipe it down with a
vinegar-water solution first.) A gasket that
shows signs of deterioration must be replaced.
Find the correct replacement by 1) looking up the
dishwasher model number on the Internet, 2)
calling the manufacturer or dealer with the
problem, or 3) by removing the gasket and taking
it to the home-improvement store to find a match.
To remove the gasket, turn off
electrical power at the main circuit and remove
the bottom dish rack. Use a screwdriver to remove
the screws (or pry up the tabs, if those are
used) and to help detach the gasket from the
door.
Check the door catch as well.
If this is loose, leaks can occur around the top
and upper sides of the unit. Readjust the catch
by loosening its retaining screws, repositioning
the catch, and tightening the screws.
Q: My dishwasher wont
drain all the way at the end of a wash cycle
water is still pooled in the bottom when I
open the door. How can I fix this? John
L., Reno, Nev.
A: The first thing to check is
the drain hose leading from the bottom of the
dishwasher to the sink drain. If the hose is
damaged or has a kink or clog in it, replace it.
Turn off the electrical power
at the main circuit and cut off the water supply
to the dishwasher. Remove the dishwashers
lower panel by taking off its fasteners
either retainer clips or screws and
lifting it away.
The drain hose is the clear or
opaque plastic tube clamped to the pump assembly.
This tube runs from the dishwasher to the
underside of the sink, where its attached
to either the sink drain or, if youve got
one, the garbage disposal.
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Copyright 1997-2003 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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