today's laugh
Professor - "Hawkins, what is a
synonym?"
Student - "Its a word you use in place of
another when you cannot spell the other one."
"Well, my son, what did you learn
in Sunday School today?"
"We learned all about a cross-eyed bear."
"About a what?"
"Yes, sir, named Gladly. We learned a song about
him; all about Gladly, the cross Id
bear."
Teacher - "Tommy, what is one-half of
one-tenth?"
Small Boy - "I dont know exactly, teacher, but
it cant be very much."
Professor - "You cant sleep
in my class."
Student - "If you didnt talk so loud I
could."
1904
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
MAN HAD A FIT.
At First it was
Supposed He Had Taken a Dose of Poison at a Saloon.
One of the steel gang on the White
River road had a fit in one of the saloons last night. He
had been drinking heavily all day and at times his talk
had been wild and threatening to himself.
When he fell in the fit it was at first
thought the man had carried out his threat to kill
himself, but when a physician was called he found no
symptoms of poisoning and only indications of epilepsy.
In a short time the fellow was able to be around, but he
was sold no more liquor.
James Braden, one of the oldest
residents of Sarcoxie and one of the pioneers of the
county, died at his home in Sarcoxie yesterday evening.
The funeral will be held tomorrow.
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Today's Feature
School Levy.
The Carthage
R-9 School Board held its regular meeting
Monday evening at Fairview Elementary. The Board
agreed to put a proposed 67 cent operating levy
increase on the April ballot with a four year
expiration through the tax year of 2007.
Currently the operating levy is
at $2.75 per $100 in assessed property value. If
the proposed levy increase passes it would raise
the operating levy to $3.42. The current debt
service levy is at 49 cents resulting in a total
levy of $3.91 per $100 in assessed value.
Motorcycle Rally.
The Public Safety Committee
held their regular meeting Monday evening in the
Carthage Police Station. The committee listened
as Joplin resident Joe Ristau presented his ideas
for a motorcycle rally to raise money for the
Salvation Army. Ristau and Shellie Ross of
Shellies Downtown Restaurant are wanting to
put together a bike rally in Carthage sometime in
the month of June.
"This would be our first
year," said Ristau. "We are in the
early stages of planning. I need to know what you
guys need from us."
Ristau asked the committee
about possibly closing Third Street from Maple to
Lyon Streets and closing the South side of the
square beginning Friday at 4 p.m. through
Saturday of the event. He also mentioned the
possibility of acquiring a temporary liquor
licence for a beer garden in front of
Shellies Downtown.
Ristau stated that they were
interested in Carter Park for a bike and car show
and possibly live bands. He said they would like
to reserve the space on 3rd Street and the square
for bike accessory vendors and food vendors.
Ristau gave a tenitive schedule
for June 11th and 12th or June 25th and 26th. The
25th and 26th would coincide with a bike rally in
Joplin for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.
Carthage Police Chief Dennis
Veach stated that his only reservations were
closing two streets both nights and the idea of a
beer garden. Veach said he would be more in favor
of possibly closing Third Street on Friday after
5 p.m. and closing the South side of the square
for Saturdays event.
"We have never had a beer
garden in the five years I have been here,"
said Veach. "It would be opening the door
that every event will want a beer garden."
Veach also stated that the bike
rally has a better chance of being approved by
the City Council without a beer garden.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',A friend a mine
always goes into football withdrawal this time a
year. After the Superbowl, he mopes around on
Sunday afternoons and nearly goes whacko on
Monday nights.
Im guessin that one
reason that Nascar races are so popular is the
fact that they fill the void left on Sunday
afternoons. Course the same could be said
of Nascar fans pickin up on the football
season. They also have the symptoms when the
racin season ends in the fall.
Although I like a good game or
race, I find they both serve the same purpose for
me. An excuse to sprawl out on the couch and take
a nice nap. I can get in on the beginnin
strategy, they wake up to watch the final few
minutes and the recap. It makes for a
refreshin afternoon.
This is some fact, but mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Carthage Printing
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Weekly Column
HERES
A TIP
By JoAnn Derson
Nancy B. of Lancaster,
Texas, writes: "I never could find the time
to exercise. When I got home, I had to rush to
get supper, etc., and afterward all I wanted to
do was plop down and watch television. Then I got
an exercise mat and a stationary bicycle. When I
couldnt work out very long, I worked out
during commercials. Ive lost 3 pounds so
far!" Great idea for all those with fitness
on their New Years Resolution lists, Nancy!
Two wonderful tips came
in from Gladys K. of Williams, Minn.: "To
protect floors from being damaged by chairs being
pushed around, glue rounds of carpeting beneath
the chair legs. They are easily removed for
replacing as they wear down. Also, when making
bread or rolls, warm the flour in the oven or
microwave so as not to chill the butter. The
dough will rise faster."
Bob W. of Parker, Colo.,
swears by brake cleaner to get rid of bad spots
on carpets. "Regular automotive brake
cleaner on the spot and a clean rag will remove
almost all stains," he says.
"In cold winter
months, keep your robe (and slippers or whatever
else) under the covers with you when you sleep.
Pull it next to or over you a few minutes before
you get up. Itll be toasty and will help
make the transition into the cold a little less
harsh." Giselle in Geneseo, N.Y.
"If your animals
try to get out when you go into or out of the
house, keep some toys or treats in your pocket or
near the door to throw across the room, giving
you a few seconds to slip in or out."
Ariadne in Ithaca, N.Y.
As tax time draws ever
closer, try taping a large manila envelope to the
fridge, leaving the top open. Immediately place
all tax-related forms and receipts in the
envelope as they come in. This way, when you are
ready to start your taxes, all items will be
together and easy to find.
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