Today's Feature

Memorial Day Celebration.

News release

Park Cemetery and Knell Mortuary will step back in time nearly 150 years on Memorial Day weekend to conduct a funeral reenactment for a veteran of the Civil War. The event, scheduled for Saturday, May 28, will begin at 10 a.m. with a procession to begin at Knell Mortuary, located at Chestnut and Garrison Avenues.

A flag-draped coffin will be carried out of the funeral home and placed inside the 1869 horse-drawn glass-sided hearse. The procession to Park Cemetery will also include a muffled drum, surrey with the "widow," and people following on horseback and on foot. The funeral procession will enter the cemetery and head toward the old area near the Grand Army of the Republic monument. The historic portion of the day’s event will conclude with a eulogy and ceremonial lowering of the coffin. The public is invited to take part in the ceremony, either as historic participants in period clothing, or as contemporary observers. People are
also invited to remain on the Park Cemetery grounds to socialize and spend
time with family, as has been the tradition in years past.

In an effort to bring back some of the traditional family gatherings that used to take place, a Memorial Day Celebration will be held in the undeveloped north area of the cemetery following the funeral reenactment. Barbecue and music are planned, with a performance by the Gum Springs Serenaders, a period band that performs Civil War era music on period instruments. Tickets for the barbecue are $10. For more information call Jerry Jackson at Park Cemetery, 417-358-4534

When the police arrived at her house she kicked and scratched the officer. Guess he didn’t bring a pizza either.

The pizza employees may have had a valid point.

‘Course ever’one gets a little cranky now and then, but 911’s not the remedy.

I hear those Tony’s pizzas are not bad and you can toss one in the oven anytime. That should at least get ya over the cranky hump.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Dear Tom and Ray:

I am 16 years old right now and I drive a 2002 New Beetle. It’s a great car that gets awesome gas mileage, it is fun to drive and is so cute. But ever since I was a little girl I’ve wanted a ‘68 Mustang convertible. My dad has always loved the idea. My mom, on the other hand, does not think they’re very safe, because they don’t have air bags, and some don’t even have seat belts. So I was wondering if you could help me out a bit by saying that you CAN install seat belts and air bats in an old car like that. - Alex

RAY: Well, we have to say, your mom is right, Alex. While it did have lap belts, by today’s standards the ‘68 Mustang is a terribly unsafe car. It handles horribly, brakes poorly, rides like a buckboard, and has almost no structural crash protection. It also drinks gas like my brother drinks espresso macchiatos.

TOM: In fact, the only thing it has going for it is, it’s cute. Kind of like me.

RAY: Yeah. But with less corrosion and body damage.

TOM: Can you retrofit air bags and shoulder belts into a ‘68 Mustang convertible? I suppose anything’s possible. But it’s completely impractical and enormously expensive. It’s not just airbags you’d need; you’d need a new steering column, new electronics, a SRS computer and who knows what else.

RAY: And there’s no place to anchor the tops of the shoulder belts. So you’d really need all new seats, with the seat belt mechanisms built in. You’d probably need to structurally strengthen the floor to secure them.

TOM: Just for fun, we calculated the cost of installing all this safety equipment, and the total came to $23,890, which happens to be the base price of a 2005 Mustang Convertible. So, do whatever you think is best, Alex.

RACING
By Greg Zyla
Sponsored by Curry Automotive

Ed Iskenderian — The Godfather of Cams

Ed Iskenderian, founder of Isky Racing Cams, was one of the first to pay a racer who won a race with his product in the engine. Today, "The Camfather" is a living legend in the sport.

ZYLA: Mr. Isky, can you please tell us how contingency programs in racing started? Weren’t you one of the first companies to offer winners money for using Isky products?

ISKY: Yes. We were one of the first, but not the first overall. At the Indy 500 (in the ’50s), when you pulled into victory lane, the Champion Spark Plug rep lifted your hood, and if you had Champion Spark Plugs in the engine, you got $500. I immediately saw the benefits of the publicity. My friend Ed Donovan (of Donovan race engines) told me I should give away $500 at the Bakersfield meet if winner was running an Isky Cam.

ZYLA: Did you win at Bakersfield?

ISKY: No (Laughter). But the (NHRA) Nationals were coming up in 1959. It was all gas then (fuel was banned), so I put up that $500 again for Top Eliminator. Well, I had a lot of winners. I remember Crane Cams followed right behind us. And pretty soon, they said they had more winners than us. Then, General Kinetics came on, and they said they had more winners than both Crane and us. (Laughter).

Senior News
By Pam Madole
Sponsored by Generations

Develop a home emergency evacuation plan

There are a few things to consider when developing an emergency evacuation plan. If you live with someone or are a disabled person, what steps will need to be taken to insure a safe evacuation? Do you have neighbors that live alone or that are elderly who might need help? Do you need several plans depending on the emergency? Fire and weather including storms, tornados and flooding are all reasons to evacuate your home. In some areas hazardous material spills can also necessitate evacuation.

When planning an emergency evacuation include all the residents in the home and even those family and friends who visit frequently.

With several people involved in the planning you are less likely to forget about potential problems with the plan and more likely to develop an effective workable plan. Always have alternate evacuation plans. Practice using your plans and update them annually.

If you have neighbors you don’t know it might be a good idea to meet them and share your ideas and concerns about the different methods of evacuation. It will also alert the neighborhood group about disabled neighbors they are unaware of who would need help in the event of an evacuation. Don’t forget any medications or special foods that you will need in case you are gone long enough to need them.

In many communities notifying local law enforcement and firefighters where there are elderly, disabled and children living will help save lives.