Today's Feature

Eggs & Issues Legislative Forum.

The Eggs & Issues Legislative Forum will be held Friday, February 3 in the Leggett & Platt Cornell Center, #1 Leggett Road. Breakfast will be served at 7 a.m. and the program will be presented at 7:30 a.m. The cost for the event is $7 per person.

Legislative updates will be given by Missouri State Senator Nodler and Missouri State Representatives Emery, Hunter, Ruestman, Richard, Stevenson and Wilson. A short question and answer session will be held following the program. The event is sponsored by the Carthage Chamber of Commerce.

YMCA Joiner Fee Free Weekend.

"We’re waving our joining fee," said Fair Acres Family YMCA Executive Director, Bob Brower. "This will save families $75, and a single adult and seniors $50, if they join the YMCA during the weekend of February 9-12," he added.

To take advantage of the membership benefit, individuals must visit the Fair Acres Family YMCA located at 2600 Grand in Carthage and pay the first month’s dues and then present either a cancelled check or deposit slip to set up direct bank draft. Enrollment forms are available at the front desk.

Stench Report:
Wednesday,
2/1/06

No Stench Reported

The farmer Randall "broke his drouth". Accordin’ to my dictionary drouth has the same meanin’ as drought. My take is that Randy broke his "dryness." He did this "by crawling under the lid". A term that might have been used to indicate seekin’ shelter, or under roof. Apparently Randy wasn’t supposed ta be under the lid ‘cause Officer Deagan took him out in the cold.

After pleadin’ guilty he was fined the "regulation" amount of $7.50. The offense was evidently common with a standard fine. Not bein’ able to pay the fine, Randy "went below," to jail we assume.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.

Dear Tom and Ray:

I have a 1988 Honda Civic with a 5-speed manual transmission. The mileage on the car is 75,000 - all short trips in New York City. A mechanic told me that I need to replace the clutch. I have my doubts, so how can I tell if I do need a new clutch? - William

RAY: Well, if you’ve driven 75,--- miles in New York City, that’s a good sign, William.

TOM: Clutch wear isn’t based as much on miles as on how many times the clutch has been used. Specifically, how many times it’s been used to start the car from a dead stop.

RAY: So when you drive in Manhattan, you could easily start from a dead stop 10 times over the course of a single mile. Or 100 times, if you’re in crosstown traffic during rush hour.

TOM: So even though you’ve got "only" 75,000 miles on the car, you’re definitely a candidate for a clutch job, William.

RAY: But here’s the test. Find something that absolutely won’t move - like, for instance, the Chrysler Building.

TOM: Pull your car right up to it, so its front bumper is touching it. Then put the car in fifth gear, give it lots of gas and slowly let out the clutch.

RAY: If the clutch is good, the engine will stall, no matter how much gas you’re giving it. If the wheels can’t turn, the engine will have to stop, too. And we know the wheels can’t turn, because we know you can’t push the Chrysler Building with an ‘88 Civic.

TOM: If the engine keeps running then we know the clutch must be bad.

RAY: By the way, just so you know William, a clutch for this car in Manhattan is about $1,000. Plus another $200 for the ticket for parking on the sidewalk in front of the Chrysler Building.