Mornin' Mail

The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Tuesday, February 7, 2006 Volume XIV, Number 162

Did Ya Know?... Volunteers will be at the C.A.N. D.O. Senior Center to help seniors apply for the Missouri Property Tax Credit. Mondays from 9 a.m. to noon from January 30 to April 10.

Did Ya Know?... The Powers Museum is seeking veterans to join the Veterans History Project. We are collecting histories of those who served our country and those who supported them. Please contact the museum at 358-2667 to learn more about the project or visit www.loc.gov/vets

today's laugh

One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful.
"I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey."
"That’s nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws."
"I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you."
Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all... hawk, lion, and stinker.

These big birthday parties my friends make for their kids; One of my friends had a surprise party for her child. He was one year old. We all snuck around the crib, jumped up and yelled, "Surprise!" He’s in therapy now. - Rita Rudner

1906
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

City Prisoners Escape

Josh French and Chas. Baker Dug Out of Calaboose Last Night.

John French and Chas. Baker made their escape from the city calaboose last night by digging through the wall at the back end of the building. The escape was made some time after midnight, probably about two o’clock in the morning. At least people living in the vicinity state that the prisoners were singing about that time, the signing no doubt being for the purpose of drowning the noise of the rasping caused by digging the mortar from the wall with the stove poker.

Fred Radner and Alonzo Walker were also in the calaboose serving out light fines and they refused to leave. The woman Annie Strange was also an occupant of the calaboose, but she was locked in a cell and could not have left if she wanted to.

John French had a $15 fine assessed against him only yesterday for being drunk and demonstrative on the street a few days ago. He was arrested at that time but there being part of an old fine hanging over him he was allowed to serve that out before he was given a hearing before the last charge. Fred Radner was also fined yesterday afternoon on the charge of raising a disturbance in a South Main street restaurant, his fine being placed at $6 including costs. He remained in the calaboose last night with the hole in the wall before him, preferring to face and end his fine rather than try to escape it. Nothing has been heard of the escaped prisoners today.

Today's Feature

Sheriff Department Raise and Cars.

Jasper County Sheriff Department Officers have received a 5% raise with the adoption of the new county budget. According to Sheriff Archie Dunn the 5% is only part of the total intended raise amount. The raise is an attempt to reduce the department turnover rate. Dunn says that when the funding from the law enforcement sales tax becomes available to the department, further raises will be implemented for officers.

The department will also begin purchasing new vehicles in the next few weeks. According to Dunn bids have been sought for new vehicles including 5 new Ford Crown Victorias, a new Chevy Impala, 5 new Ford Explorers, 4 Dodge Chargers and a 3/4 ton pickup which would carry a trailer for evidence at crime scene investigations. Financing for these purchases is to be provided by Southwest Missouri Bank.

The sales tax will begin collection on April 1st and Jasper County Auditor Richard Webster expects the funding to be available beginning in July. Dunn says that with the funds the department will begin to purchase new equipment and hire additional officers as outlined by the department in the original tax plan.

Stench Report:
Monday,
2/6/06

No Stench Reported

Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin'
A friend a mine got onea those electronic gadgets that talks to ya while you’re drivin’ and tells ya how to get where ya wanna go. He says it works really well.

He says it works so well that he doesn’t carry a map in his car anymore. He just accepts the directions and goes where he’s told, not really knowin’ where he is some of the time. I’m wonderin’ what he would do if the battery goes down and he’s stuck on the side of the road somewhere and doesn’t have a clue.

"I’m off I-44 some where between St. Louis and Oklahoma City," he could tell the tow truck operator (assumin’ his cell phone still worked). "I turned left and went thirty miles and then right for ten miles."

Sometimes ya need to know where ya are to get where you’re goin’.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.