today's
laugh
A browbeating lawyer was demanding that
a witness answer a certain question either in the
negative or affirmative.
"I cannot do it," said the
witness. "There are some questions that cannot be
answered by a 'yes' or a 'no,' as any one knows."
"I defy you to give an example to
the court," thundered the lawyer.
The retort came like a flash: "Are
you still beating your wife?"
"You have heard what the last
witness said," persisted the counsel, "and yet
your evidence is to the contrary. Am I to infer that you
wish to throw doubt on her veracity?"
The polite young man waved a
deprecating hand.
"Not at all," he replied.
"I merely wish to make it clear what a liar I am if
she's speaking the truth."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
After the Crap Shooters.
True to his threat, Marshal Bruffett is
making it warm for the crap shooters who broke faith with
him after Sunday morning's game. Jim Belknap appeared for
trial Monday morning as he agreed and is being let off
with a light fine. But state warrants have been issued
for the rest of the crowd, and one of them, Charley
Irvin, was arrested this morning. He was taken into
Justice Berry's court and sentenced to 17 days in the
county jail, which he began serving today.
"The Barton County Bazoo" is
the name of a new publication at Lamar which has reached
this city. It is edited by Rue Stephenson, formerly of
Carthage, with a lead pencil and a quantity of brown
wrapping paper. It is loaded full of witty sayings which
entitles the author to some rank as a humorist.
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Today's Feature Memorial Hall Plan Proposed.
A Memorial Hall Long Range Plan
proposal will be in first reading during this
evening's regular Council meeting in City Hall.
The proposal calls for a contract with the
architectural firm of Pellham, Phillips and
Hagerman of Springfield to provide
"narrative descriptions" of various
aspects of a proposed renovation of Memorial Hall
and "schematic design presentation boards
graphically describing the proposed physical
allocations to accomplish the Plan."
The development of the plan is
estimated to take three to four months at a cost
of $13,000 plus reimbursable expenses up to
$2,000. The cost of the project will be paid out
of a $20,000 grant provided by the Boylan
Foundation specifically for that purpose.
After the firm presents its
final presentation to the Memorial Hall Long
Range Planning Committee, the funding for the
actual renovation will need to be secured. When
that is accomplished, the firm offers its
services for basic architectural/engineering
services at a cost of six percent of the total
budget for the project. An additional contract
would be agreed to at that time.
Commentary
Martin "Bubs"
Hohulin
State Representative,
District 126
This week I received in the
mail a copy of all the legislation that passed in
the last Session of the Legislature. Looking
through it, I was again reminded of the many hard
fought battles and the victories and defeats
(mostly defeats) of the Session. It got me to
remembering some of the ideas we introduced that
didnt pass and in many cases werent
even allowed to be debated.
That is one of the worst things
about how the House of Representatives is run. If
you are not a member of the majority party
(democrat) you dont have much chance of
your legislation reaching the floor for debate,
much less a vote. The only way we have a chance
for input is to offer amendments in committee or
on the floor and that is only if the democrats
dont vote to shut off debate which can be
done with eighty-two votes in the 163 member
House.
One such bill was House Bill
1337. It was introduced and co-sponsored by most
of the members of the Republican caucus. It was
our answer to the continuing welfare problem. I
firmly believe we have too generous of a welfare
system that encourages people to stay on the
public dole instead of working. What is even
worse is that when any of us try to reform the
system to require work instead of handouts, we
are accused of being cold-hearted, unfeeling, and
extremists. How did we evolve into a society
where the people that work for a living, pay
their bills and pay other peoples bills are
the bad guys? The main provision of our bill was
to require work for able-bodied adults or no
benefits. Lest anyone accuse us of being too mean
and extreme there were also child care,
transportation, and job training aspects as well.
This approach has been put in place in Wisconsin
and is working great. Welfare rolls are down
dramatically and money is being saved. Why
didnt we pass it here? You tell me. Our
bill was never brought up for debate on the
floor. We did offer it as an amendment to another
bill and it was voted down straight along party
lines with republicans supporting it and
democrats opposing it.
I cant understand how
anyone could be against the concept of reducing
welfare, but the results are in the House
Journal. Go figure. Kids say the darndest things.
I cant end this column
without telling you what my eight year old son,
Bill said during President Clintons
non-apology the other night. We had just tuned in
to the football game when they broke away for the
speech. After a couple minutes, Bill turned to me
and said, "Dad, why didnt he just tell
the truth seven months ago? If he had, we would
be watching football now instead of him".
Kind of sums it up. As usual, I can be reached at
House Post Office, State Capitol, Jefferson City,
MO 65101 or 1-800-878-7126 or
mhohulin@services.state.mo.us for your questions,
comments, or advice.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
The same state statute that
allows county officials to charge a fee for
similar services to other cities in the
County also requires the agreements to be
authorized by the County Commission. There is
some question at this time whether that
authorization has ever been secured.
The last official agreement
of this nature that I can find reference to
'tween the City of Carthage and the County is
back in 1970. Now some might argue that the
contract was "open ended" allowing
it to be carried forward from year to year.
What ever the case, it appears that any
contracts from this year forward will come
under closer scrutiny of the Commissioners.
Though it looks to be legal
for the Commission to allow the practice, the
general population prob'ly has some doubts
that the County can afford the luxury.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
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Sponsored by
McCune Brooks Hospital
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Weekly Column
Health Notes
ALLERGIES GOETH
NOT BEFORE (or during the fall): Many people
assume that with the first cooler days of the
season, their allergies will disappear. This is
particularly true for those who have had the
so-called summer sniffles caused by air
conditioner filters that werent cleaned or
by industrial irritants trapped by hot weather
smog conditions. Some tips for dealing with
allergy symptoms:
1. Keep your windows closed and
use an air conditioner (make sure the filters are
clean) when you sleep;
2. Consider using commercial
filters to clean pollens from the air;
3. If you jog, remember, the
peak times for most airborne pollens are between
5 a.m. and 10 a.m. A morning jog during these
times can set you up for a miserable rest of the
day;
4. If you must go out during
these hours -especially if you need to commute at
this time, Sister Salerno suggests you take an
antihistamine first. She also suggests switching
your outdoor sports to evenings.
5. Before planning outdoor
activities, check pollen counts with the weather
service or with TV and radio forecasts.
6.Windy, dry days ... produce
the most misery for allergy sufferers, while a
light rain keeps the pollen count down.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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