today's
laugh
In a New York cafe at 3
a.m., the last guest in sight sat sleeping at his table.
The charwomen said to the proprietor, "I've seen you
shake that old fool and wake him up five times. Why don't
you make him go home?"
"Nothing doing," answered the
proprietor cheerfully. "Everytime I wake him up he
asks for his bill and pays it."
Mr. Tompkins paused before a painting
called "Spring," which depicted a beautiful
young nymph clad only in a couple of strategically placed
leaves. Mr. Tompkins seemed rooted to the spot.
"Come on, Harry," urged his
wife. "What are you waiting for?"
"Autumn," sighed Harry as he
reluctantly turned away.
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
An Unfounded Rumor.
A sensational rumor was wildly
circulated on the streets this afternoon to the effect
that J.B. Lloyd, a well known attorney of Carthage, was
dead. The rumor was not very well defined, one report
being that he had suicided at his home, another that he
had accidentally shot himself while hunting, either near
Carthage or at Stotts City. The latter report gained the
most credence, as several lawyers thought that Mr. Lloyd
was in Stotts City.
A news representative call at Mr.
Lloyd's home at the corner of Thirteenth and Clinton
streets and found that his wife and mother, while greatly
worried by the report, did not believe it. Mrs. Lloyd
said that her husband had gone with George H. Thomas, a
Mr. O'Betts and several more Carthage parties to Dry
Fork, a small stream 8 miles north of the city, on a
couple of days' hunting and fishing trip. He went
yesterday morning and is to be back this evening.
Several others were seen who were said
to have received the news direct, but they knew nothing
about the matter. In all probability the rumor is utterly
without foundation.
A Dandy Fusionist.
Four hoboes were last night given a
lodging in the city holdover in return for carrying in a
box full of coal. On of them wore a swallow tailed coat
of the latest cut, pantaloons and stiff hat to match, an
immediate shirt and standing collar and gold eye glasses.
Officer Drake asked them what their politics were and
they replied that they were "Fusionists."
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Today's Feature Library Funding Moves Ahead.
The Budget/Ways and Means
Committee voted unanimously last Thursday evening
to recommend the latest version of a "hold
harmless" agreement with the Library Board.
A similar agreement was scheduled to be in first
reading at last Tuesday's regular Council
meeting, but was postponed to give the Library
Board time to approve the agreement. The
agreement is meant to hold the Library harmless
from loss of revenue casued by the cessation, in
1984, of taxing personal property within the
City.
The Library Board submitted the
revision with no major changes in the formula
proposed by the City. The formula will use the
transportation sales tax as an index for changes
in the City's obligation to the Library. The
$41,423 paid by the City in 1998, will be used as
a base on which all future calculations are made.
For several years the amount
paid to the Library was not based on any
particular formula, but was an arbitrary number
allocated each year by the Council.
City Administrator Tom Short
hopes that having a set formula will give the
City and the Library a better budgeting tool.
Carthage Tiger Beanie Babies
Have Arrived.
CHS band students are currently
selling Carthage Tiger Beanie Babies. These are
beanie tigers wearing a Carthage Tiger t-shirt
with tiger paw. This first edition is available
in very limited supply for $9 each. The second
edition Carthage Baby Tiger will arrive by
December 14th, and will also sell for $9 each.
Band students are hopeful the proceeds from this
fund-raiser will move them much closer to their
goal of $50,000 by March, 1999. At the current
time they are almost half way there. If you would
like to purchase a Carthage Tiger Beanie Baby,
either first or second edition, please contact a
band student, call Quetha Bassham, Band Booster
President, at 358-5836, or send $9 with your
name, address and telephone number to the CHS
Band, 714 S. Main, Carthage, MO 64936. They will
also be available December 14 at Hometown Bank.
Order of the Eastern Star
Installation.
Eminence Chapter #93 Order of
the Eastern Star will hold open installation of
1999 officers Tuesday Dec. 15, 1998 at 7:30 p.m.
at the Masonic Temple 7th & Maple.
Pat West, Electa Chapter #111,
District Deputy Grand Matron 44th District.
Installing officers are Mrs. Bobbye Russell P.M.,
Installing Matron; Paul Jackson P.P., Installing
Patron; Mrs. Robyn Sunderland P.M., Installing
Chaplain; Mrs. Janis Jackson, P.M., Installing
Marshall; Mrs. Marlen Edwards P.M., Installing
Organist; Mrs. Betty Bronson P.M., Installing
Floral Marshall; Heidy Hathcock, Installing
soloist; Mrs. Maxine McNerney, Guest Book.
A Bible Ceremony will be
presented by Mrs. Dotti Frost, Mrs. Janet
Johnson. Jennifer Johnson and Amber Johnson.
1999 Officers are: Janice
Whitworth, Worthy Matron; Marvin Frost, Worthy
Patron; Janet Johnson, Associate Matron;; Charles
Whitworth, Associate Patron; Cleo Westbay,
Secretary; Carroll Hendrickson, Treasurer;
Dorothy Frost, Conductress; Dorcia Meares,
Associate Conductress; Mary Ann Gruver, Chaplain;
Bettie Herndon, Marshal; Marjorie Bull, Organist;
Martha Pauley, Adah; Fay Hendrickson, Ruth; Susan
Naylor, Esther; Myrtle Stahl, Martha; Opal Faye
Campbell, Electa; Ann Spangler, Warder and D Fred
Campbell, Sentinel.
There will be refreshments in
the dining room following the installation.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
As mentioned before, I
think the stealin' of street/road signs is a
serious matter. I was a little surprised to
see the evenin' paper's editorial that
suggested raisin' the crime of stealin' signs
to the level of "murder, rape, and
treason."
The suggestion raised
memories of coyote hunts I witnessed growin'
up. A group of farmers would surround a mile
section and turn the dogs loose to chase out
the wild animals. Rows of the animals would
be seen hangin' from barbed wire fence post
after the hunt. These perpetrators didn't
even steal anything.
Maybe the evenin' paper
would support puttin' hangin' back on the
books for horse stealin', or more appropriate
for these times, car theft.
There has ta be a fittin'
punishment for sign stealin' that falls short
of execution.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
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Supply, Inc.
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Weekly Column
The Super
Handyman
Q: I have a
very large outside light that is mounted up on an
electrical pole in my yard. It was here when we
moved in, and everyone in my neighborhood has
one. My neighbor says mine doesn't cut off like
his does during then day. What should I check on
this monster?
A: Look at the electronic eye.
If it's covered with dust, and insect nest or
whatever, it'll still think it's dark even in the
daytime.
If that's not the problem and
the wiring is okay, replace the light sensor.
It's not expensive and should be easy to do, once
you're sure you've turned off the current to the
unit.
Dear Al: Instead of winding up
my extension cords and other long cords and
hanging them on my garage wall, I store them in
buckets. That way, they hardly ever get tangled
up, and there are no kinks in them when I pull
them out. You can store several in one large
plastic bucket if you put a layer of cardboard
between them.
Dear Carrells: My son is
allergic to the dog, but we can control the
problem by just keeping the dog out of his room.
We didn't want to keep the door closed all the
time, so we replaced the regular door with a
screen door. It keeps the dog out but allows the
air to circulate through my son's room, and we
can still hear him if he needs us when he is
playing in there. It has worked out just great so
far. Of course, the boy isn't old enough to start
listening to a stereo yet!
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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