today's
laugh
A clerk was showing various household
gadgets to a new bride. Enthusiastically he explained how
her husbands eggs would be boiled just right when
done according to an electrically timed egg cooker.
"But I wouldnt need
that," she said sweetly. "John likes his eggs
the way I do them. I just look out the window at the
traffic light, give them one red and two greens, and
theyre cooked to suit him."
A farmer was trying hard to fill out
the railroad claimsheet for a cow that had been killed by
a train. He managed to answer all the questions until he
came to the last item: "Disposition of
carcass."
After puzzling over the question for
some time, he wrote, "Kind and gentle."
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1897
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue. They Appeared By Proxy.
Bond Jumping Wheat Stealers Let
Off With a Small Fine.
Andrew Kemper and O. W. Lyon, the two
farmers from near Jasper charged with stealing wheat,
were not present when their case was called in Justice
Tyrees court this morning. C. E. Burch appeared for
them as their attorney and entered a plea of guilty. They
were fined $1 and costs each, making a total of about
$35. This was promptly paid.
It will be remembered that when the men
were arrested here they put up a team and wagon with
Attorney John H. Bailey, and he went their security to
the extent of $50 each. They failed to appear for trial
and the case was continued to allow Mr. Bailey an
opportunity to find the men. They had skipped the
country, however, and it afterward developed that one of
the horses did not belong to either of them and the other
was mortgaged to Weeks & Son. The horses were
replevined and the attorney was left in the hole.
He seems to have now solved the
problem, which confronted him very neatly, as well as
demonstrated some new points in criminal practice. Had
the men appeared in court in person they would have in
all probability been given jail sentences, and the query
naturally arises what brand of rabbit foot did the young
attorney work on Justice Tyree to induce him to let them
off with simple fines of $1 each and costs.
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Today's Feature
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North Garrison Closed for
Repairs.
North
Garrison Street will be closed from
ElDorado Street to V Highway for the next
two to three week to allow for road
repairs near the south bridge. Although
the repairs will be completed by Snyder
Bridge Company, the problem is not with
the bridge structure itself, but rather
the concrete approach pad.
According
to Assistant to the City Engineer Joe
Butler, the original pad was not
connected to the bridge and is slipping
away. A new pad will be constructed with
a reinforced base and connected to the
bridge. The City accepted responsibility
for the bridges from the state last year.
Businesses
located on the closed stretch of North
Garrison can be reached by detouring to
McGreggor and then east on High Street to
Garrison.
The
ownership and maintenance of the three
bridges and the portion of 571 Highway
north to V Highway were accepted in an
exchange with the State for the
construction of the interchange at 71
Highway and Civil War road. The State
agreed to leave the bridges in good
condition.
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Commentary
Martin "Bubs" Hohulin
State Representative, District 26
This year finds my committee
assignments shuffled a bit. I had the chance to
go on the Budget Committee this year, so even
though it means a major commitment of time I went
ahead and took it. This is a significant
committee because it determines the spending for
the entire state government. I had been on two
different Appropriations Committees before, but
never Budget. For lack of a better analogy,
Appropriations Committees are the minor leagues
of the Budget Committee. The Appropriations
Committees do the preliminary screening of the
state budget and make recommendations, but the
Budget Committee makes the final call.
In order to be on Budget, you
have to be on an Appropriation Committee, so I
accepted an assignment to the Health and Mental
Health Appropriations Committee. That committee
oversees the budgets for the Department of Health
and the Department of Mental health. I was also
put on the Rules Committee. I had eight
committees, so I gave up the Utilities Regulation
Committee. My committees this year are as
follows: Agri-business, Budget, Banking,
Appropriation-Health and Mental Health, Energy
and Environment, Ways and Means, and Rules.
We started meeting Monday
morning, going over Department of Healths
budget and have met all week on that as well as
the Department of Mental healths budget. My
main priority is, and will be, to find and
eliminate spending that is excessive or wasteful.
One of the items that jumped out at me was the
fact that we are spending $66,000,000 in the
Alcohol and Drug Abuse division of Mental health.
Im sure I will offend someone with what I
am about to write next, but here goes. The
Department of Mental Health should be for just
what it implies, mental health. I firmly believe
the citizens of the state should provide for
those, who through no fault of their own, find
themselves or their families in tough situations
regarding mental illness. The list of these
conditions is long. Autism, Downs syndrome,
clinical depression, cerebral palsy, bipolar,
developmentally delayed, and schizophrenia are
just a few of the illnesses and conditions that
affect Missourians all across this sate. I truly
believe we have an obligation to help them and
their families.
You might notice I didnt
put alcohol and substance abuse in that list.
This has been a sore spot for me ever since I
learned one of the men arrested in Carthage a
couple years ago as a suspect in the Oklahoma
City bombing was on government disability,
claiming alcoholism as his disability! It is
shameful when people like that are taking money
that is desperately needed by the truly
afflicted. To be spending $66,000,000 on alcohol
and drug abuse in Missouri when we have people
with conditions beyond their control going
without should be enough to make any responsible
citizen livid with rage. Now to add insult to
injury, the department has proposed spending an
additional $300,000.00 to hire clinicians that
know sign language, in part to better serve the
deaf and hard of hearing drunks! Needless to say,
this is not a proposal I support.
As usual, I can be reached at
House Post Office, State Capitol, Jefferson City,
MO 65101, or 1-800-878-7126, or
mhohulin@services.state.mo.us .
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Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin',
This will be the last time
ya hear me say this for a while. Get to City
Hall and file for office. Tadays the
last day ta get on the ballott.
Don Sterns has filed to run
against Lujene Clark in Fifth Ward. No other
Council candidate has opposition and Fourth
Ward doesnt have a candidate.
Heres the list ta date.
First Ward, Larry Ross;
Second Ward, encumbent Bill Fortune; Third
Ward, encumbent Jackie Boyer; Third Ward
(appointed position, this election for a one
year term), encumbent J.D. Whitledge; Fourth
Ward, no candidate; Fifth Ward, encumbent
Lujene Clark, and Don Sterns.
Mayor candidates; Hugh
Overton and Ken Johnson.
City Hall is open until
5:00 this afternoon.
The Mayor elected this time
will most likely have the opportunity to sit
through the selection of a new Police Chief
as Ed Ellefsen has indicated he will retire
within the next four years.
This is some fact, but
mostly, Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
McCune Brooks Hospital
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Weekly Column Health Notes
READERS WRITE: From Fern in:
"I have three questions about diet and
exercise which I hope you can answer.
"First, is it better to
exercise before or after a meal?
"Second, can you control
your weight just by exercise and not by dieting?
"Third, how much weight
can you gain as you get older and still remain in
the safety zone?"
Answer: Its better to
exercise shortly before you eat. This raises your
metabolism and helps burn calories more
efficiently.
To lose unwanted pounds, you
need to combine a regimen of dieting and
exercise. After youve reached your desired
weight goal, you should continue your exercise
programs so that you can maintain muscle which
helps the body burn fat.
If your doctor approves, you
can ease up on the more restrictive diet
associated with weight loss. But dont
return to your previous eating habits or
youll see those pounds creeping back even
if you continue exercising.
As for your third question, the
federal governments health watchdogs tell
us that weight gain in later life is discouraged.
While it was once assumed that you could safely
take on a few pounds as you got older, studies
show people do better when they dont put on
a middle-age spread.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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