today's
laugh
Critic: The picture of the horse is
good, but where is the wagon?
Artist: Oh, the horse will draw that.
Auctioneer: What am I offered for this
beautiful bust of Robert Burns
Man in Crowd: That ain't Burns. . .
that's Shakespeare.
Auctioneer: Well folks, the joke's on
me. That shows what I know about the Bible.
So you really think your memory is
improving under treatment. You remember things now?
Well, not exactly, but I have
progressed so far that I can frequently remember that I
have forgotten something, if I could only remember what
it is.
Freshman (finishing a letter): I'd like
to send you that five that I owe you, but I've already
sealed the letter
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Whitsett's Work Done.
Sends Nine Recruits Out Tonight
and Will Return Himself Tomorrow.
Capt. Whitsett today secured the last
of his 113 men for the Fifth Missouri regiment at
Chickamauga, and will send the squad of nine men, with
three sergeants and one corporal, to Camp Thomas tonight.
Sergt. Elliot, of Carthage, will be one of the number.
The recruits are: James Donahue, a
clerk at the Commercial hotel; Chas. R. Magee, Wm.
Phillips, and Henry W. Rogers, of Carthage; Charles and
Joseph Bell, of Stanton; Charles V. Everett; of
Carterville; James E. Finton, of Rolla, and Samuel P.
Frost, of Cagle, Mo. They leave on the 7:13 Missouri
Pacific train tonight.
Capt. Whitsett will remain in Carthage
till tomorrow to see his mother, who is expected home
tonight from the woman's convention at Denver.
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Today's Feature Precious Moments Week.
The Victorian Era is being
brought back to life for guests taking advantage
of a very special Wedding Island tour at the
Precious Moments Chapel in Carthage, Missouri
July 5th through the 12th.
Those touring the island will
be guided around the island by Victorian ladies
and gentlemen. They will see the remarkable
Wedding Island Mansion with its magnificent
marble ballroom floor, unique one-of-a-kind
furnishing and exquisite parlor. Preparations for
a Victorian Wedding will be taking place, and
those making the tour will be invited guests to
the wedding.
The finest Victorian fashion
and Victorian tradition will all be part of the
ceremony held in the completely restored 1890's
church. Visitors will also see preparations for
the bride being made in the Brides House and tour
the stunning gardens on the island.
Precious Moments week turns
international in the Chapel Visitors Center as
each day offers guests a different international
buffet. Four star Chef Juanito has planned
recipes sure to tempt even the most traveled
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Used ta have a dog that
would start shakin' all over and hide behind
the couch whenever it started to thunder. No
talkin' to that dog. Just wouldn't listen.
No matter how calm we
spoke, or how much we petted that dog, it
wouldn't move from it's security furniture.
I don't suppose it really
hurt anything that the dog was so fearful of
a rumble or two. There was somethin' that
made us kids want to get the dog to face the
thunder.
'Course we were prob'ly
lucky not to be struck down by lightnin'
durin' some of our adventures durin' rain
storms.
I suppose now there would
be some dog shrink tellin' us that we could
somehow work the animal through its fears and
make it a more functional pet. The dog lived
a normal and healthy life. Sometimes you just
have to let shakin' dogs lay.
This is some fact, but
mostly
Just Jake Talkin'
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Sponsored by
Carthage Farm & Home
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Weekly Column
The Super Handyman
by Al Carrell and Kelly Carrell
Dear Al & Kelly: I have a
typical picket fence around my yard. Ours is a
bug yard, so painting the fence is quite a chore.
I've tried different techniques over the years
but have found only one really fast way to do it.
I use a smaller roller, one that is the same
width as the pickets. It holds the paint well and
doesn't drip too much, and I usually can get each
picket with one swipe of the roller. It is less
wasteful and faster, not to mention neater than a
brush.
SUPER HINT: When taking
family trips, carry a large coffee can with you
for garbage. You can seal the lid and it's easy
to empty and clean after the trip.
Changing your car's oil
yourself can save you money, compared with having
a garage do it for you. Doing it yourself also
gives you an excellent opportunity to examine
other components of the car. You might notice
parts that need repairing or adjusting, things
that you otherwise might miss.
An oil change involves just a
few simple steps, including replacing the oil
filter. One thing that gives some people fits is
the filter wrench, which sometimes slips and can
be hard to use properly. One way to get a better
grip on the filter is to glue a piece of
sandpaper to the inside of the wrench.
The sandpaper can help the
wrench grab the old filter as you unscrew it.
Don't use the wrench to install the new filter,
however, use your hand.
Here's another tip: avoid
spillage from the old filter by slipping a
plastic bag over it before removing it.
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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