today's
laugh
It is said that a pig ran away from the
butcher, because he had heard that prevention is better
than cure.
The magician’s wife knew he was up
to his old tricks because she discovered a hare on his
shoulder.
"I want to know how long girls
should be courted."
"The same as short ones."
First Congressman - "I sowed ten
pounds of grass seed and nothing came up. It’s a
shame!"
Second Congressman - "Yes, there
ought to be a lawn!"
First Egyptian - "Who was that
lady I saw you eating with last night?"
Second : "That was no lady. That
was my mummy."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
THE GLORIOUS FOURTH
Will Sure be Celebrated in
Patriotic Style
in Carthage This Year.
The financial committee on a Fourth of
July celebration has reported favorable, and at a meeting
last night it was decided that Carthage should have such
an event as has not been witnessed here for many years.
The program outlined last night for the
Fourth is as follows:
At 10 a.m., a grand pageant consisting
of flower parade, industrial display on floats, city
officials, fire department, veterans, decorated bicycles,
Karnival Krews of King Hi Ki, and horseback brigade. In
the afternoon the old fashioned sack race, greased pole
and pig, wheelbarrow and hose race, patriotic orations,
balloon ascension, etc. will be features. At night a
grand fireworks display will be given. For the latter
purpose a fund of $1,000 is being raised and set pieces
representing flags, pictures of Dewy, Samson and Lee,
star showers, rockets, etc., will be purchased.
All citizens are asked to take part in
the celebration in any way possible either by joining in
the parade, getting up floats or flower displays or
participating in the different events or jollification.
At any rate every Carthaginian should celebrate at home
this year. This is a year for patriotic displays and the
Fourth of July is the occasion for the biggest outburst
of all. The regular cheap rates on railroad will in all
probability prevail. The Pierce City band will be here
and with the Light Guard boys will make patriotic music
fill the air.
| |
Today's Feature Police Chief Applications Still Coming
In.
Former Chief Settles in
to New Job.
According to City Hall,
twenty-three applications for the position left
vacant by former Police Chief Ed Ellefsen have
been received.
According to Mayor Johnson,
applicants are from as far away as Illinois and
Colorado. Johnson also indicated the applicants
are highly qualified from what he has seen so
far. The City has set July 1 as the cutoff day
for applicants. It is hoped that a recommendation
will come from the Police Personnel Committee by
the first part of August. The City Council will
have to approve any recommendations.
In an interview with the Mornin’
Mail, Ellefsen says he is pleased with his
new position as Director of the Mid-States
Organized Crime Information Center in
Springfiled. He says the hour and ten minute
commute doesn’t seem too bad and he is
excited about the challenge of his new position.
Ellefsen retired from the
Carthage Police Department after serving 19
years.
|
 |
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I’m startin’ to
fear that some of the garden tomatoes will
not make it to maturity. Although there is
nothin’ better than a vine ripe tomato
with plenty of salt and pepper runnin’
down the chin, the lure of fried green
tomatoes is beginnin’ to outweigh
patience. For the time bein’, a
naturally rationed amount of cherry tomatoes
have wetted the appetite, but the ratio of
content to skin on the little morsels reduces
their appeal as a completely satisfyin’
snack.
I did manage to sample a
few strawberries before the critters noticed,
but the season grew short. I have yet to see
any signs of actual peppers poppin’ up
on those plants, so the green tomatoes are
becoming more obvious as a first choice. I am
hopeful that there will be sufficient numbers
of the vegetables to compensate for the early
departure of a few unripened martyrs.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
|
| Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
|
Weekly Column
CLICK and CLACK
TALK CARS
by Tom & Ray Magliozzi
Dear Tom and Ray: I am the
proud owner of two vehicles with horizontally
mounted filers. Both of them are Fords: a 1988
Bronco and a 1993 Escort Wagon. Do you have any
tips for removing these oil filters without
creating a mess? Letting the engine drain a long
time before removing the filter helps some, but
who can wait 24 hours for the oil to drain? I've
tried pre-wrapping the filter with a plastic bag
or newspaper, I've tried hanging funnels, and
most recently, I intentionally punctured the
filter to allow it to drain into a cup before
removing it. My results: a worse mess!
This never happened on my
previous cars whose filters hung down at a
45-degree angle. Do you know the answer to
changing these filters without ending up with oil
all over me?- Phillip
TOM: Sure. The answer is your
local gas station, or Quickie Lube, Phillip.
Research clearly shows that if you stand in the
waiting room, the mess-at least form your point
of view-is reduced significantly.
RAY: There is no good answer,
Phillip. We make a mess when we change these
types of filters, too. We use a huge drain bucket
that's about 2½ feet across. And that catches
most of it.
TOM: And you can buy a drain
bucket like that yourself at your local auto
parts store. It's actually a transmission oil
drain bucket, and it's designed to catch oil
dripping from a large transmission oil pan.
RAY: Even that won't get all of
it, Phillip. Some of the oil will still run down
the side of the engine and drip long after you've
cleaned up and gone in for dinner.
TOM: So I guess the only way to
eliminate 100 percent of the mess is to have it
done by somebody else. Do what I do. I use the
transmission fluid drain bucket, and I do all my
work in my brother's driveway.
ARCHIVES Index
|
| |
|
Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
|