today's
laugh
Just before a draftee made his first
parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him, "Count to
ten and pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the
second rip cord for the auxiliary chute. After you land,
our truck will pick you up."
The paratrooper took a deep breath and
jumped. He counted to ten, and pulled the first cord.
Nothing happened. He pulled the second cord. Again,
nothing happened. As he careened crazily earthward, he
said to himself, "Now Ill bet that truck
wont be there either!"
Coming out of a restaurant, a man met
his dentist on the way in. The man asked, "What
should I do about my yellow teeth?"
"Wear brown," the dentist
replied.
What is period furniture?
"Well, I should say an electric
chair because it ends a sentence."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
KADERLY AND SIMPSON SET FREE.
Lamar Rape Suspects Acquitted.
The trial of William Kaderly and
William Simpson, the two farmers who were charged with
the rape of Mrs. Resh near Lamar sometime ago, came to an
abrupt end yesterday morning just after 11 oclock
when the jury returned a verdict of not guilty without
leaving their seats. After all the testimony for the
state was in the attorneys for the defendants, offered a
demurrer. The demurrer was sustained in each instance and
the court instructed the jury to find the men not guilty,
which they did. The verdict gave general satisfaction.
The Lamar Republican, with
characteristic enterprise, immediately issued an extra
edition, from which the above details are taken.
Look out for the oil wagon with the
bells. They can sell oil as cheap as anyone.
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Today's Feature Lieutenant Governor Wilson
"On Board" says
Clark.
Council member Lujene Clark
told the Council at its regular meeting last
Tuesday that a meeting with Lieutenant Governor
Roger Wilson "went very, very well" and
that Wilson "agreed to come aboard in trying
to get our green signs back."
Clark was referring to the
directional signs that mysteriously disappeared
from Interstate 44 and 71 Highway.
Clark said that it may also be
possible to approach federal tourism grants for
the "brown" signs that denote historic
landmarks.
Efforts by the Carthage Chamber
of Commerce and Economic Development Director Max
McKnight were rewarded recently as new signs were
placed on 71 denoting street exits to Carthage.
Clark and Council member Mike
Harris met with Wilson at the recent Missouri
Municipal League Legislative Conference in
Jefferson City.
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Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin',
One a the latest topics to
be revisited is the idea of lettin
folks operate a business outa their home.
Havin been one a those who originally
worked from the kitchen table myself, I know
the advantage of not openin a
storefront. The problem that usually comes up
when this discussion is initiated is where do
ya draw the line?
A phone call to a Council
member requestin information on
openin a taxidermy outfit in the family
garage rekindled the age old question of
business vs. residential zonin.
If cuttin up dead
animals is a possibility, why not pig
farmin? (By the way, havin farm
animals is still legal in Carthage, as long
as neighbors dont raise a stink).
Its the classic
debate over individual vs. state rights.
Always a worthy topic.
This is some fact, but
mostly, Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column Click and Clack Talk Cars
Dear Tom and Ray:
My husband is buying a new Ford
pickup. He wants to buy a diesel engine because
he says "It's more fuel-efficient, will last
longer, and is less polluting than gas." I
don't know about the first two, but I find the
last argument hard to believe, especially since
diesel fuel stinks so baldly. Can you clear the
air for me? - Alice
Ray: I don't believe for a
second that he's interested in reducing global
pollution either, Alice. We both know he just
wants a big, honking truck. But we'll address the
pollution issue anyway.
Tom: It's somewhat complicated.
Diesel fuel is just one step more refined than
primordialooze. In fact, you can usually see mud,
sticks and leaves in it as you pour it into your
car. But since diesels operate at a much higher
temperature than gas engines, some types of
pollutants are reduced. For instance, diesels
produce half as much carbon monoxide as gasoline
engines.
Ray: On the other hand, diesels
produce twice as much hydrocarbon emissions, four
times as many nitrous oxides and five times as
much particulate matter (a k a soot).
Tom: In their favor, however,
diesels do seem to deteriorate less (in terms of
how much they pollute) over time. So while
gasoline engines pollute significantly more as
they get older, diesel engines start out bad, but
in their defense, don't get much worse.
Ray : That's what my mother
says when she's asked to praise my brother.
To be continued next week.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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