today's
laugh
Judge - "What is this man charged
with?"
Officer - "Intoxication, your
honor."
Prisoner - "Judge, I’m as
sober as you are this minute."
Judge - "Pleads guilty - 10
days!"
A firm of lawyers rang up a stock
broker, and the following conversation took place:
"Good morning, are you Mr.
Denman?"
"Yes, who is this?"
"This is Hullett, Crafrig, Studge,
Minardy, Gowle, and Scarrow."
"Oh, good morning, good morning,
good morning, good morning, good morning, good
morning."
Judge - "Who was your wife before
your were married?"
Defendant - "I don’t recall
having a wife then."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Sidewalks Case Decided.
Attorneys Thomas & Hackney
yesterday afternoon received a telegram stating that the
court of appeals had affirmed the decision of the Jasper
county circuit court in the case of Williams vs. the
judges of the county court - Messrs. C. E. Elliott, Clay
Leaming and L. A Fillmore. This is the suit which grew
out of the squabble over the stone sidewalks around the
court house and vindicates the judges, leaving Williams,
the concrete walk man, in the lurch.
Will Use Acetylene Gas.
The Chautauqua grounds and auditorium
will be lighted with acetylene gas. A deal was closed
yesterday by which F. S. Treadway, of Joplin, will put in
60 burners, generators and all necessary appliances. The
gas lights are guaranteed to make it possible to read
fine print in any part of the auditorium.
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Today's Feature Original Restoration Recommended.
Memorial Hall Long Range
Planning Committee members held their last
regularly scheduled meeting last Thursday evening
to complete their report to the City Council. The
report draws on Committee discussions,
presentations and the survey of the community
conducted by the Committee. It focuses on the
future use of the building, suggested renovations
and long-term maintenance.
"The very strong
preference of the Committee was to see the
building be maintained in a manner more befitting
its memorial and historic aspects. As we approach
the 75th anniversary of the dedication of the
building (Sept. 24, 1999), it is the
recommendation of the Committee to begin a phased
project to ensure that the building survives to
enjoy a 100th, 150th and perhaps even 200th
anniversary celebration."
The report goes on to say that
the building is in excellent physical condition
but should be made more functional and appealing.
To that end, the major recommendation of the
Committee is to restore the original exterior and
improve the acoustics and lighting.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
With all the advances in
communication devices that have been made in
the last several years, I am amazed that it
is still nearly impossible to understand the
person takin’ an order at a fast food
drive-up. Sometimes I think they put in some
sort of voice scramblin’ device so as to
make ya accept what ever they have on hand at
the time.
I also have a particular
pet peeve with drive-up speaker
orderin’. Ya turn in your order, but
when ya get to the window, after you’ve
paid of course, you’re notified that
they just ran out of that one thing ya
stopped there for in the first place. It just
ruins that high quality dinin’
experience that we’ve all come to expect
from fast food restaurants.
And no, I don’t want
whatever the special of the minute is, thank
you. I couldn’t understand what it was
anyway.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin’.
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| Sponsored by
Carthage Chamber of Commerce
& Fastrip
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Weekly Column
The Fever is Catching!
Release from
Carthage Chamber of Commerce/Convention &
Visitors Bureau
A team of Chamber-Member
volunteers has worked nonstop over the past month
and a half to help Carthage "Catch the
Fever: and realize the benefits of Membership in
the Carthage Chamber of Commerce. "We have
more than fifty new members that have joined our
Chamber family," noted Chamber Executive
Director Heather Kelly. "These new members
are now partners with other like-minded business
people through the Chamber in securing growth and
a positive future for Carthage. Those aspects of
our mission improve the bottom line and the
quality of life for all that prosper from a
strong economy in Carthage."
Team captains and volunteers
have canvassed the community with the mission of
converting nonmember businesses into Chamber
Members. Those volunteers include: Membership
Committee Cochairs Edie Swingle Neil and Teri
Schramm, and Drive Chairman Dan Corp. Team
Captain Bev Baker's group, known as the
"Grand Slams," included Sue Joslen,
Barbie Huff, Cindy Harding, Marilyn Beam and
Cheryle Finely. Under the direction of Team
Captain Bob Copeland were Mike Gilpin, Judy
Golden, Tom Flanigan, Wayne Putnam and Jim
Schoeberl. The "Carthage All Stars"
Team Captain is Cathy Christensen Corp with
members Kerri Marks, Sandy Higgins, Charlotte
Beal, H.J. Johnson and Leann Keepper. Team
Captain Don Gass directed Lujene Clark, Ron
Ferson, Rob Knell, Kay Lambeth, and David Troyer.
Donna Frieson led the "Carthage
Cavalry" with volunteers Max McKnight, Neel
Baucom, Scott Rosenthal, Lowell Lane, and Sarah
Duffy-McConnell. Team Captain Bill Johnson
directed the efforts of the "Cathage
Tigers" with the assistance of Tom Short,
Jim Lobbey, Marge Housh, Don Hosak and Larry
Lloyd. The "Chamber Champs" with Team
Captain Edie Swingle Neil, included Steve Holt,
Teri Schramm, Bob Copeland, Chick Nuse and Marlo
Miller.
Drive Volunteers will be
treated to a special "10th Inning Awards
Reception" at 6:30 Thursday night at Duffy
Distributors in The Underground. Sarah
Duffy-McConnell from Duffy Distributors will
supply beverages. The Chamber will recognize each
of the volunteers and present an award to the top
producing team.
Several special events and
programs are planned for new and old members
alike in the coming months.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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