today's
laugh
"Do you keep animal
crackers?"
"No, but we have some very nice
dog biscuits."
A grocer recently had a pound of sugar
returned, with a note stating that it contained too much
sand for table use, and not enough for building purposes.
Customer (to rural storekeeper playing
cards)- "Do you know that there are two customers in
the store?"
Rural Storekeeper (keeping on playing)-
"That's all right. Keep quiet and they'll go away
again."
First Beta-"This butter is so
strong it walks over to the cup of coffee and says , 'How
do you do?'"
Second Loafer-"Yes, but the coffee
is too weak to answer.
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Aquitted for No License.
John Apperger., the Webb City saloonist
who was acquitted yesterday before Justice Carson of the
charge of selling liquor without a license, was arraigned
again today on a similar charge before Justice Clande
Berry in Carthage. The case was set for August.
E.M. King of Appleton City arrived
yesterday and is at the Commercial hotel. He is the
gentleman who expects to put in a new stationery store in
the Allen building at the northwest corner of the square.
Good Behavior Helped Him.
Frank Oreigh, a Duenweg miner, was
released from jail this morning before the expiration of
his sentence, largely because he had conducted himself
decently at the jail and appeared to be "a straight
fellow."
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Today's Feature Expanding The Special Use Zone.
The Planning, Zoning, and
Historic Preservation Commission voted last
Monday evening to recommend a new category for
Special Use Permits be approved by the City
Council. Special uses permits are currently
issued for fourteen categories which allow
businesses such as day care centers, bed and
breakfasts, and nursing homes to operate in
residential zoning.
The Commission's recommendation
is for "non-profit, mainly philanthropic,
organizations dedicated to the expansion,
promotion, and the study of the humanities."
The discussion for the new
category was initiated by a request from
artCentral to relocate their operation to the
Hyde house on east Thirteenth Street. The Hyde
Foundation has offered to allow the organization
to use the property without charge. Board members
of artCentral told the Commission that it is an
opportunity to finally establish a permanent base
of operations for the arts in Carthage.
If the new category is approved
by the Council, artCentral could then apply for
the special use permit. A public hearing and
Council approval would be required.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I suppose 'bout the only
thing stranger that watchin' a bunch of
politicians sit around waitin' on results is
watchin' those watchin'. I'm referin' to the
news media.
As the 10 o'clock news
began on the local tv stations, camera crews
scrambled to find someone to put on the air.
With no one certain of the election outcome
at that point, it was hard to find anyone
willin' to speak out too confidently.
As the night dragged on,
the cameras were turned on other members of
the media. I doubt the shots make a
broadcast, but there is plenty of
documentation of various news personalities
noddin' off durin' the long stretches of
boredom between announcements.
As deadlines came and went,
the story moved to focus on those willin' to
wait for the final results. The election is
over, but the media moves on. Film at eleven.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
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Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column
Click and Clack Talk Cars
Dear Tom and Ray:
I've still got my first new
car, a red 1987 Toyota MR2. We had a party for
its 100,000th-mile birthday a year or two ago and
it's still running well. I have a repainting
question. One firm recommends painting it the
same exact color, so they can cut corners and not
paint the door jambs and other places where I
won't really notice it. They say this will save
me money because they won't have to take off body
parts and hardware.
I have no objection to saving a
little money, but I want to make sure I get a
good paint job, since I plan on keeping this car
through its 200,000th-and 300,000th-mile
birthdays. Rust isn't a problem where I live.
Should I have the car thoroughly repainted inside
and out, or is it OK to save a few bucks and just
paint the parts that show.-Marcy
TOM: If you were planning to,
say, sell the car to your brother, then I'd say
fine, cheap out and don't paint the door jambs.
RAY: But since you obviously
love this car and are planning to keep it for the
long haul, I'd get a real paint job, Marcy. It's
not much more expensive, and a real body shop
might even, for example, roll up the windows
before spraying on the paint.
TOM: More important, Marcy, in
my opinion, you can't paint the car the same
color. After spending all that money, the goal is
to feel like you've got a brand-new car. And to
do that, it has to be a brand-new color.
RAY: Just don't make the same
mistake my brother did. Be sure that the new
exterior color you pick goes with the car's
existing interior.
TOM: How was I supposed to know
that a metallic burnt-orange body clashes with
snot green seat?
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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