today's
laugh
"Let me hear how far you can
count."
"One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, Jack, Queen, King."
We sympathize with the skeptic who
jumped off the Woolworth Building to test his rubber
heels and kept bouncing up and down until they had to
shoot him to keep him from starving to death.
Waiter-"The gentleman over there
says his soup isn't fit for a pig."
Manager-"Then take it away, you
fool, and bring him some that is."
Waiter- "Isn't this good
chicken?"
Patron- "It may have been good
morally, but physically it's a wreck."
Show manager- "What makes you
think the fruit they threw at you was canned?"
Ham Actor- "I felt a jar."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Major Williams Nominated for Congress.
Thursday the boys got the news that
Major Frank Williams was nominated for congress. They
marched to the officers' quarters and lined up and gave
the major three hearty cheers. Major Williams spoke to
the boys and they enjoyed the speech very much.
He expressed his belief that the boys
would be back in old Missouri in time to vote for him,
and form the way the boys cheered him one would be
compelled to believe that he would be their unanimous
choice should they have the privilege of voting. One
could not help admiring his soldierly bearing, whether on
the field or in camp, and he is a favorite with the boys.
We wish him success in his campaign.
Fined sugar cured hams 10 cents per
pound at W.H. Miller's
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Today's Feature Park Board Awarded Steadley Grant.
The City Council received a
copy of the Steadley Memorial Trust grant
approved "for the benefit of the Carthage
Park and Recreation Board" last week. The
specifics of the grant were outlined in a letter
addressed to the Board of Directors of the
Carthage Park and Recreation Board. The $1.5
million grant carries the following restictions
as stated in the letter.
The grant is "a capital
improvent grant in the total sum of $1,500,000 to
be disbursed in annual installments of $150,000
for a ten-year period beginning April 1999.
"Since the purpose of the
grant is to complete development of the Fair
Acres Sports Complex, including construction of
athletic fields, parking lots, concession stand,
and perimeter fencing, as well as constructionof
an outdoor biology lab and a walking trail, the
Steadley Trust hereby requests that prior to each
annual distribution, the Carthage Park and
Recreation Board provide appropriate
documentation of completed work for the above
mentioned projects."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
The Council voted last week
to not spend any of the City's money on
paintin' a logo on the new north water tower.
The result will be big block letters for the
word Carthage on two sides and one Maple leaf
guardin' the north entrance from 71 Highway.
The cost of the paintin' will be paid by a
grant from the Boylan Foundation and $3,000
from CW&EP. Ever'one is wantin' a good
showin' on this go around.
There is also a movement to
get a tiger on the tower on Main Street. This
will have ta wait until the two new towers
are completed so the Main tower can be
drained. Condensation prohibits any paintin'
when the tower is full.
There has still been no
official plans presented to the Council for
the completion of the Fire Department
substation that will be housed in the south
tower, but that still seems ta be the plan.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
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| Sponsored by
Carthage Farm & Home
Supply, Inc.
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Weekly Column
The Super Handy Man
We've got a fast and easy way
to get your next outdoor grill fire off to a
super start, and it comes in a can!
A 5-pound coffee can or any can
about that size works well. Use a pointed can
opener to make holes in the can's side at the
bottom, and then cut out both ends.
Poke two holes near the can's
other end and push wire through them to make a
handle.
Set the can into your barbecue
pit and fill it with charcoal briquettes. Light
them through one of the holes that you made in
the can's bottom, and allow them to burn until
they are ready to spread out.
When the briquettes are ready,
the can's handle will be hot, so lift it with
gloves or use a large fork.
Now, isn't that a great way to
get briquettes started quickly? It's a trick that
comes in especially handy on a windy day.
Dear Al & Kelly: I usually
try to do a thorough checkup on my lawn mower
before the mowing season. I also do a mid-season
checkup as well. One thing I think is very
important to do is to check up under the mower
deck itself for rust or heavy buildup of grass.
First thing you should always do before examining
the deck is disconnect the sparkplugs so it won't
accidentally start. Remove all the buildup grass.
I use a knife to cut it out. You can prevent a
lot of grass buildup if you spray some cooking
spray on the surface after you clean it.
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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