today's
laugh
Customer-"I want a ton of
coal."
Dealer-"Yes, sir. What size?"
Customer-"Well if it's not asking
too much, I would like a 2,000- pound ton."
"What is your gross income?"
"I have no gross income."
"No income at all?"
"No gross income. I have a net
income. I'm in the fish business."
"John's in the fireworks
manufacturing business now."
"How's he getting on?"
"So far, all the reports are
favorable."
"My wife and myself are trying to
get up a list of club magazines. By taking three you get
a discount."
"How are you making out?"
"Well, we can get one that I don't
want and one that she doesn't want, and one that neither
wants for $2.25."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Must Exchange Old School Books.
The final limit for the use of old text
books, as fixed by the Missouri text book commission, is
September 1, 1898, and after that a penalty attaches to
the use of any old text books in the schools of Missouri,
excepting the old Franklin readers, which were adopted by
the commissioners. From August 15 to September 1 those
who have old books can exchange them for the new ones at
the Post Office Book Store.
Today's Jail Registry.
B.L. Baldwin and wife of Webb City were
jailed today for disturbing the peace. Sim Brown out of
jail is like a fish out of water, and he came back today
for petit larceny at Joplin. Chas. Johns broke jail in
Joplin and was brought up here for safe keeping. R.L.
Curl, a Joplin miner, was booked for peace disturbing.
J.I. Yandle, an Oronogo miner, joined the noisy majority
yesterday for disturbing the peace. Guy Strong, of
Sarcoxie, was jailed Saturday on a charge of petit
larceny.
Little Clarence Greenawllet, aged one
year, died at 3 o'clock this morning of lung and liver
trouble at its' parents home at Fidelity, and was buried
at 4 o'clock this afternoon at the Fidelity grave yard.
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Today's Feature The Sidewalk Plan.
The Public Works Committee was
presented a list of City owned sidewalks that are
considered in need of repair or replacement by
the City Engineering Department at last Tuesday's
regular meeting in City Hall.
Engineering Department Head Joe
Butler commented on the need for work around City
parking lots, the Civil War Museum, and Memorial
Hall. Also included were sidewalks in the Park
System and those that are the responsibility of
CW&EP and McCune Brooks Hospital.
Butler said that although all
of the sidewalks would be considered in any bids
received, McCune Brooks and CW&EP work will
be separated for accounting purposes. The City
has budgeted $50,000 for its portion of the
project. The Park Department has agreed to
undertake demolition, excavation and removal of
demolished sidewalk materials from park property.
Butler said he would like to put the project out
for bid by the end of this month.
The Committee also voted to
recommend the acceptance of a bid for drainage
channel improvements near Wood Avenue from
Greathouse Backhoe for $6,500. The full Council
will meet next Tuesday.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
They say that folks that
live in the far north get grumpy when the sun
doesn't shine for long periods durin' the
winter months. I think I was havin' some of
those symptoms myself durin' last week's
downpour. I was glad to see the clouds go
away yesterday, it was good ta have some
reassurance that I hadn't gone where the sun
don't shine.
I always wondered where
that was. As a kid there were lots of
expressions I didn't really understand, but
repeated anyway, just 'cause they sounded
neat.
Usually expressions like
"big deal" or
"what-of-it" or the ultimate
"so?" seemed to irritate adults
after a while, even though such sayin's
weren't aimed at adults. Kids understood this
and would exaggerate usage just to push the
limits a little. The result was somethin'
like bein' without sunshine for more than a
couple days I suppose, 'cept the clouds just
kept comin'.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
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| Sponsored by
Metcalf Auto Supply
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Weekly Column
Click and Clack Talk Cars
Dear Tom and Ray:
I have a 1989 Buick Century.
Recently, the left directional flasher went out
(i.e. stopped flashing). The local
service-station mechanic didn't have a clue. He
said about an hour's labor plus parts. I took it
to another station and was told anywhere from $3
to $125. Then I called two Buick dealers and they
couldn't give me a firm estimate either. What
would be a fair amount to pay to fix this
problem? No one can tell me. -Jerry.
RAY: In many cases, Jerry, this
problem is caused by a burned-out bulb in one of
your directional lamps.
TOM: The flasher is affected by
resistance. And if one of the bulbs burns out,
the resistance changes. Then the flasher either
flashes very rapidly or stops flashing to let you
know a bulb is out. So by turning in the
blinkers, and comparing the right side, which is
working, to the left side (look carefully,
because each lamp contains several bulbs), you
should be able to tell if you're down a bulb.
RAY: And if that's the case,
you have a $3 fix.
TOM: If it's not the bulb, then
it probably is the flasher (occasionally, we do
see a flasher that works on one side but not the
other). The flasher is a round, ice-cube-sized
relay that plugs in under the dashboard. And you
can find it by listening for it. Lie on your back
on the driver's side floor with a flashlight,
turn on the blinker to the side that works, and
listen for the little box that's clicking.
RAY: When you find it, pull it
out, bring it to your local auto-parts store, and
say, "Give me one of these."
TOM: By the way, that's also a
$3 fix.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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