today's
laugh
Editor-"Did you write this poem
yourself?"
Contributor-"Yes, every line of
it."
Editor-"Then I'm glad to meet you,
Edgar Allan Poe, I thought you were dead long ago."
"Some people would kick anywhere
but in a football game," snorted the restaurant
proprietor,"I can't see what them epicures has got
to complain about with this soup."
"They wouldn't have no grouch
coming sir," explained the waiter,
tactfully,"if only the cook would admit it's soup.
He says it's coffee."
"What are you doing these days
Gladys?"
Working on a farm where they raise
hornless goats."
"But-"
"There are no butts."
1898
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
CLAIMED HE WAS NOT LUCKY.
But Circumstances Changed the
Boy's Condition as Well as Name.
The boy who was shot in the leg near
the Frisco depot some time ago, is now well and running
about the streets again.
Since his injury, however, Marshal
Bruffett has discovered that he did not give his true
name and address when he was shot. He then gave the name
of Ernest Larkin and said his home was at Springfield.
The marshal wrote to the officers there and through that
means discovered the boy's name to be Ernest Lucky, and
that his father resides in Exeter, Barry county.
County Physician Flower treated the
boy, and his father was written about the case. The
latter advised the marshal to see that he was well
treated, to draw on the Wells & Wiggins Grocery Co.
for supplies and he would pay the bill. He then added
that he would come to Carthage at once to take his boy
home. That has been three weeks ago, but nothing has
since been heard of the elder Lucky. Meanwhile the boy is
well and out again, and may well consider himself
"lucky," indeed, to get out of his little
scrape so cheaply.
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Today's Feature Carthage Soroptimists to Host Meeting
Soroptimist International of
Carthage will host the District II Annual Meeting
October 2-4 at the Precious Moments Convention
Center in Carthage. Clubs from Kansas, Oklahoma,
Texas, Arkansas, and Missouri are expected to
attend.
Activities begin Friday, Oct. 2
with registration at the Precious Moments Hotel;
followed by a tour of Historic Homes, Jasper
County Courthouse, and downtown Carthage on the
Double Decker Bus; Trade Fair Setup; Precious
Moments Chapel Tour; an informal social with hors
d'oeuvres; and the Fountain of Angels Show.
The Official Opening Ceremony
begins at 9 Saturday morning with Betty Evans,
District II Director, Wichita, KS, presiding.
Members of the Ozark Area Girl Scouts will
present the colors and lead the salute to the
flag. Sharon Croley, Carthage, will sing the
National Anthem followed by Shelley Bradberry,
Winfield, KS, with the day's inspiration.
Sue Joslen, Carthage
Soroptimist President, will make introductions.
Free Mammograms Available.
Free mammograms are being
provided by Soroptimist of Carthage, in
cooperation with McCune-Brooks Hospital and
Carthage Radiologists, throughout October.
This offer is for women who
have no insurance or cannot afford the expense of
a mammogram. Vouchers are available at the
McCune-Brooks hospital or Poor Richards Gift
Shop, NW corner of the Carthage square. There are
a limited number of vouchers.
For more information about the
free mammogram, persons may call Ruth Overton at
(417)-358-5861.
According to guidelines set by
The American Cancer Society for early detection
of breast cancer, women ages 20-39 should have a
clinical breast exam at least every three years.
Women ages 40 and over should have a clinical
breast exam and mammogram every year. All women
20 and over should do a breast self-exam each
month.
The organization also
recommends if there is a family history of breast
cancer, individuals should discuss mammography
screening with their health provider. For more
information about breast cancer, persons may call
toll free 1-800-ACS-2345, or www.cancer.org.
Commentary
Martin "Bubs"
Hohulin
State Representative,
District 126
Does it seem like it costs more
to drive your car these days? Maybe you should
get a job with the Missouri Housing Commission.
Their car allowances run as high as $79 per mile!
Thats right, $79.
The Commission makes loans to
low-and moderate-income home buyers in the state.
It is overseen by a board that includes the
governor, lieutenant governor, attorney general,
and treasurer. The Commission is not subject to
the mileage rates for the rest of the state
employees, even though tax dollars are involved.
The rates that were paid were unbelievable. One
employee got $350 per month to make two trips per
day of a few blocks, another received $507 per
month for a little more than a hundred miles per
month. As outrageous as all this sounds, it is
not the worst of it.
To the Commissions
credit, once they discovered the excessive
allowances, they discontinued them. Had they
stopped there, the story would have had a happy
ending. But like Ive said before, the
easiest word in the world to say is yes,
especially if you are using someone elses
money to say it with. After stopping the
allowances, they then raised the salaries of the
employees because "We did not want to
penalize employees". That was a quote from
Governor Carnahan. Never mine these employees had
been in the pockets of the taxpayers for years.
All the governor was concerned about was that
money keep flowing from taxpayers into state
government. Maybe that helps explain why we have
had to refund excessive taxes that were collected
illegally every year Governor Carnahan has been
in office. But that is another column, maybe next
week. Stay tuned.
In addition to the mileage,
some of the employees had their liquor tabs
picked up by the Commission as well. What a
country! As you probably know by now, I have
gained a reputation in state government for being
against much of the way government perates. I
have been criticized for that many times. I have
been told I should be more positive, that I
should go along with more things. Folks, as long
as your tax dollars are involved, I am going to
continue to be against practices like what the
Missouri Housing Commission was doing. While the
easiest word to say is yes, the hardest word to
say is no, but many times it has to be said. Our
hard earned tax dollars are at stake.
As usual, I can be reached at
House Post Office, State Capitol, Jefferson City,
65101, or 1-800-878-7126, or
mhohulin@services.state.mo.us for your questions,
comments, or advice.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
There is one thing that
most folks have in common, the dislike of
standin' in lines. They will stand around the
coffee pot, stand on a bus, stand in front of
windows in the mall all day long, but waitin'
in line just isn't to be stood for.
'Course since standin' in
line is such a nuisance, the one thing that
might top the aggravation is havin' someone
cut in front of you while your waitin'. I
witnessed a real sneaky attempt at line
cuttin' over the weekend while waitin' for a
table at a restaurant.
A mom and her kid come in,
the kid heads for the restroom, the mom waits
in line. After a while I look up and the kid
is standin' next to a table bein' cleared,
wavin' to his mom. She makes a move but is
cut off by a savvy line stander. "Oh did
you want that table?" she asked
innocently.
And they ask where kids get
the ideas. I thanked this one for savin' our
table for us.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
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Sponsored by
McCune Brooks Hospital
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Weekly Column
Health Notes.
POINTS OF
INTEREST: With autumn comes falling leaves and
falling bodies on the gridiron. Dr. Maureen
Finnegan, associate professor of orthopaedic
surgery at the University of Texas Southwestern
Medical Center in Dallas, cautions football
players not to overlook warm-up exercises before
the game.
Professional and college team
coaches make warm-ups mandatory. Too many high
schoolers or younger people, unfortunately,
dont warm up. "A good warm-up,"
Dr. Finnegan says, "reduces the chances of
some of the most common football-related
injuries- muscle pulls."
Especially vulnerable is that
hamstring muscle which is found along the back of
the thigh. Also vulnerable are the Achilles
tendon at the back of the heel, and the abductor
muscles inside the thigh.
Dr. Finnegan suggests a light
jog around the field at about half-speed,
followed by gentle stretching (remember that
word: gentle) of the main muscles. Make sure
everyone who gets into the game is outfitted with
the right gear.
Calcium is a vital nutrient for
everyone, but especially so for younger women and
girls who need to build strong bones that will
help reduce the risk of osteoporosis in later
years.
ARCHIVES Index
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Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
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