today's
laugh
He doesn't even know when George
Washington was born.
Washington was born in Virginia in
1732.
I saw that in a book, but I thought it
was the phone number.
You know how to serve customers?
Yes, sir. I can serve 'em either way.
What do you mean - either way?
So they'll come back, or so they won't.
Somebody stole my cow, but it won't do
them any good.
What do you mean, it won't so them any
good?
I took all the milk out of her
yesterday.
A study of economics usually reveals
that the best time to buy anything is last year. -Marty
Allen
1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Held on Suspicion of
Horse Robbery.
Ray Millerman offered a handsome
strawberry roan horse for sale here this morning and as a
consequence will rest behind bars of the Carthage mouse
trap tonight. He says that he and his brother Charles and
a friend, Albert Snyder, all from near Princetown, Mercer
county, are traveling in a wagon to Oklahoma where he
intended to buy a farm.
He claims to have owned the horse in
question for over two years but as he was leading it
behind his wagon, wanted to sell it cheap and it closely
fits the description of a horse stolen from Lawrence,
Kan. Marshal Bruffett felt warranted in holding him.
Sheriff J. C. Moore of Lawrence, who
offered $15 reward for the horse, has been notified and
it will probably be known tomorrow whether the animal is
the one wanted.
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Today's Feature
No Easy
Answers on the County Budget.
The Jasper County Financial
Advisory Committee met Monday evening to bring
together final reports from four subcommittees
that will be condensed into a final full
Committee recommendation to the Jasper County
Commissioners. The three County Commissioners and
several county elected officials were in
attendance. The subcommittee reports held no easy
answers to the perceived squeeze on the County
budget in the near future. It has been estimated
that by the end of fiscal year 1999 the County
will have less that $270,000 in reserves. The
budget of $11.2 million is projected to be over
$2 million more than revenues for the year.
The Committee was formed by the
Commission in hopes that a broad based financial
experience of the members might come up with some
suggestions to keep the budget in balance
according to Presiding Commissioner Danny
Hensley.
Some of the subcommittees long
term ideas include some type of job
classification/pay scale that would apply to all
County employees and consideration of a County
Charter form of government. A final report is
scheduled in about a month.
Friend of the Square Passes.
Funeral services for Bob Sade
of Oldies and Oddities Mall in Carthage will be
held Thursday at 11 A.M. at the Ulmer Funeral
Home in Carthage. Visitation will be Wednesday
from 7 P.M. until 8 P.M.
Sade and his wife Roberta have
operated their antique mall on the Carthage
Square for many years. He passed away on August
8th at his residence in Joplin after a long
struggle with cancer.
Graphic Art Opportunities
Due to our recent
purchase of additional equipment and expansion of
our Carthage, Missouri facility, we are currently
taking applications for the following positions:
Press Operator.
Must have experience operating an A.B. Dick 360,
Chief 117, Heidelberg windmill, power cutter, and
folding equipment. Dark room and layout
experience.
Pre Press:
Experience with Pagemaker, Quark, Photoshop,
Illustrator, Coral Draw. Design and typesetting.
Mac and PC. Four Color process experience a plus.
Customer Rep:
Need strong organizational skills, computer
skills, and be service oriented. Knowledge of
current paper trends and printing background.
Bindery:
General bindery, padding, stitching, booklet
assembly and binding. Some lifting involved.
General Office:
Phone skills and computer skills. Experience with
Quickbooks, Excel, Access and page layout
programs.
Pick
up an application at 213 Lyon, Carthage,
Missouri, or call for appointment. 417-358-5174
Fax 417-358-3168 email: mmail@morninmail.com
Carthage
Printing Services
"Latest
technology, Old fashioned values."
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Ive always heard that
bein a half-wit is better than
havin no wit at all. Ive wondered
what ya get when two half-wits have a
conversation. Course you could have a
battle of wits between two unarmed opponents.
Ive never looked up
exactly what wit is. I suppose ya have ta
know it when ya see it. My mom seemed to
appreciate wit when I was growin up.
Id hear comments about this person or
that bein "witty." Especially
valued was the person with "quick
wit." Someone lackin the skills,
however defined, of course was referred to as
a "dim wit."
Wit seems to somehow
combine insight with humor and timing, but
the exact formula is heavily reliant on the
circumstance and personal taste, or compete
lack thereof.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Carthage Printing
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Weekly Column
PRIME TIME WITH KIDS
by Donna Erickson
If you ask my kids about ice
cream, they are more likely to associate it with
the cold, hazy cloud coming out of the
supermarket freezer than with the cranking of an
ice cream maker on a hot evening in August. You
dont have to have an old ice cream maker to
make the real thing. Just use coffee cans and an
old-fashioned recipe.
In a large bowl, stir together
1 cup of whole milk, 1 cup heavy cream, 1/2 cup
sugar and a pinch of salt. Let your kids help
choose added fruits or nuts. Our favorite this
time of year is sliced strawberries. We add about
1/2 cup to this recipe.
Pour the mixture into a clean,
dry 12-ounce coffee can. Be sure you have checked
to be sure it has a tight-fitting, leakproof lid.
Snap the lid on the can. Set
the can inside a larger 39-ounce size coffee can.
Pack crushed ice around the smaller can. Sprinkle
rock salt over the ice and snap the lid on the
larger can. Let your child roll the can back and
forth to you or a friend on your driveway,
sidewalk or porch. After about 10 minutes, remove
the lid of the larger can to drain any water.
Carefully remove the lid on the smaller can and
stir the thickening ice cream mixture. Replace
the lid. Add more ice and salt to the larger can,
replace that lid and roll for about 10 more
minutes.
Serve the ice cream for a snack
or for dessert. It has that hurry-up-and-eat-it
now quality no one can resist. Its the real
stuff!
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