today's
laugh
"You followed my
prescriptions, of course?"
"Indeed I did not, doctor, for I
should have broken my neck."
"Broken your neck!"
"Yes, for I threw your
prescription out of a third floor window."
Film Star - "What the public
expects from a film star. First I had to learn to talk
for the talkies, now I have to blush for the color
films."
"Ive eaten beef all my life,
and now Im as strong as an ox!"
"Thats funny, Ive
eaten fish all my life and I cant swim a
stroke."
Speeder - Officer, was I driving to
fast?
Officer - No, you were flying too low.
1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A
Moonlight Sleigh Ride.
A jolly party of young people in a big
bobsled had a gay moonlight ride around the streets of
Carthage last night. An attempt to stop on the square
near a car that was off the track irritated one of the
horses and his plunges frightened some of the party, who
jumped out into the snow on all sides. As the horse could
not be induced to stand still, they then had to race
after the sled and climb in it while it was under motion.
Of course this resulted in much laughter and was
considered great fun.
After the ride the party adjourned to
C. A. Emrys house on South Maple street, where an
oyster supper was served. The sled belong to Homer and
Ray Stanley, and their guests, were Misses Edna, Mamie
and Winifred Emry, Ada, Lulu and Bessie Stanley, Eva and
Nannie Rankin, Myrtie Morton and Minnie Hiatt; Ernest
Wheeler and Will Barnhart.
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Today's Feature
Blunt Renews
Term Limits Stand.
The Citizens for Term Limit
Awareness recognized Congressman Roy Blunts
"invaluable service" to work for a
constitutional amendment that limits
congressional service. Blunt renewed his
"Voters Contract for a Citizen
Congress" pledge to restructure Congress.
Citizens for Term Limit
Awareness Chairman Rense Johnson endorsed
Blunts efforts saying, "What this
dedicated public servant has done i the fight by
American citizens to restore their country is to
support the ideals of representative government
as envisioned by the framers of the
Constitution." In signing the pledge
supporting term limits, Johnson added, "This
puts Congressman Blunt in the vanguard of
patriots who are working to return the dignity
and purpose of the United States Congress."
The proposed constitutional
amendment would limit service in the House to six
years (three terms) and in the Senate to 12 years
(two terms.) The Citizens for Term Limits pledge
also makes it clear that members of Congress,
like Blunt, who pledge to support term limits
arent limiting their own service unless all
members are limited.
Business
Location For Rent
Across
Lyon Street from the new Jasper County Annex II
213
Lyon Street, Suite 1
Next
to Carthage Printing Services
Just One
Block Off the Square in Carthage, Missouri
Plenty of
Excellent Parking ADA Compliant Entry and
Rest room
Approximately
1,400 Square Feet
Recent Complete
Renovation
New Roof
New Wiring Inside/3 phase 220 to Building
New Drywall
& Ceiling Tile
New Central Heat
& Air New Insulation Throughout
Private Front
& Rear Entrance
Convenient to
Downtown, Courthouse, Post Office and Banks
If youre looking for a
respectable place to do business, call
Heritage
Publishing
417-358-3160
Or Stop By
213 Lyon
Street, Suite 2 Carthage, Missouri 64836
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
With all the talk about the
new millennium and the optimistic outlook for
the computerized future, there is still some
comfort in purely mechanical, functional,
familiar gadgets. Things like a pencil.
If a pencil breaks,
its obvious. If it gets dull you take
out the pocket knife (another handy, reliable
tool) and sharpen it.
Those of us who grew up
tinkerin with cars faced the computer
age several years ago. The art of filin
down a set of points, or balancin a
carburetor was replace by electronic
adjustments by computer chips in the early
80s.
Im sure at one time
many were many uncomfortable with the idea of
movin the privy inside and
trustin indoor plumbin. I figure
the outhouse taught a good lesson. Never look
back.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
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Sponsored by
Workman's Loan
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Weekly Column
The Super
Handyman
Q: I have a lot
of dark stains on my front sidewalk. They are
probably caused by leaves and dirt and no sun on
the walkway. I tried a bleach solution, and it
removed most of the stains, but some remain. What
else can I try?
A: Just a stronger bleach
solution might do the job. There is also a great
concrete cleaner formula made by mixing a quart
of liquid laundry bleach into 3 quarts of warm
water. Wear rubber gloves. Add a quarter-cup of
powdered detergent and two-thirds of a cup of
trisodium phosphate. Mix and apply with a stiff
broom and give it a little scrubbing. After about
20 minutes, rinse with a hose and dilute it well
so it wont harm nearby plants.
Dear Kelly: I finally solved my
wobbling kitchen-table problem without using the
old standby matchbook. The key was finding
something that was exactly the right thickness to
make it permanently level again. The correct item
turned out to be a metal washer. I glued it to
the bottom of the short leg, and now its
fine. I put a piece of masking tape over the
washer just to make sure it wont rust on my
floor.
SUPER HINTTry using warm
vinegar to loosen up old wood glue for redoing
chair joints. It works fast, is inexpensive and
isnt caustic. It works best on older glues.
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Copyright 1997-1999 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
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