today's
laugh
Have you any children?
No. Why?
Too bad. I was going to ask how they
were.
I tell you, sir, I have played in all
the largest theatres in Europe.
Yes, sir. In America we have theatres
so big that when a man in the back throws an egg, it
hatches out before it reaches the stage.
Youll have to remember nobody
ever layed down on the job and got results.
What?
Nobody ever layed down on the job and
got results.
Oh no? What about a hen?
1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
Eastern Star Officers at Jasper.
Peerless Chapter No. 75 O.E.S. located
at Jasper, Mo., met in regular session Friday evening.
After the general order of business had been disposed of
the following officers were elected and appointed for the
year:
Mrs. J.M. Phillips, worthy matron; Mrs.
N. Patterson, worthy patron; Mrs. Ada Romeiser, associate
matron; Mrs. H.F. Pitts, conductress; Mrs. Effie
Fairfield, associate conductor; Mr. P.F. Romeiser,
treasurer; Ms. H.F. Pitts, secretary.
Appointed officers: Mrs. Anna V. Rex,
Adah; Mrs. Blanche Coleman, Ruth; Mrs. M. Hershey,
Esther; Mis L. Leiss, Martha; Mrs. E. Hendricks, Electa;
Mrs. J. Fairfield, warder; Mrs. M. Fish, chaplain; Mrs.
Dr. Gooding, marshal; Mrs. J.M. Leiss, organist; Mr.
Herrod, sentinel.
|
Today's Feature Standing Committee Updates.
During last Tuesday
evenings regular City Council Meeting,
Council Members were updated on the work of
several standing committees.
Council Member Jackie Boyer
reported that the Budget Committee is continuing
to meet to several items, including the capital
improvement projects for the upcoming fiscal
budget.
Boyer reported that Jason
Spangler and Police Chief Dennis Veach had
discussed the possible Y2K problems for the
police department. She said the budget committee
requested some additional information on this
subject.
She said the next Budget
Meeting is set for Monday, February 22.
Council Member Donna Harlan
reported City Administrator Tom Short is
currently working on policy changes surrounding
city employee comp time.
Council members also passed a
motion to allow Economic Development Director Max
McKnight to enter into discussion concerning a
possible sale of the City parking lot located
east of the Post Office.
Mayor Kenneth Johnson reported
that the request made by the Council to the
Missouri Department of Transportation concerning
the safety of H H Highway is currently being
studied.
Council members and the Police
Department have raised concern surrounding the
increase in traffic accidents on H H Highway
between Hazel street and the overpass. Mayor
Johnson expects the MoDot traffic study to be
completed within six weeks.
Mayor Johnson also informed the
Council that the draft of the Airport settlement
was given to the city on Tuesday, and that he
would try to schedule a meeting next week to see
what the next steps would be concerning this
settlement offer.
Short informed the Council that
Jason Spangler has completed his study of the
citys computers for the Y2K issue, and is
currently working on his final report.
Police Chief Dennis Veach told
the Council that the police department will begin
holding a series of neighborhood meetings later
this month. Veach said the meetings would not
have an agenda, but would simply be a way for the
department to receive feedback on how they are
doing serving Carthage residents.
Parks Superintendent Alan Bull
told the Council that the Carthage Parks, in
conjunction with the Missouri Department of
Conservation will hold a Tree Care Work
|
|
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
A friend a mine came ta
school one day with a bandage on his thumb,
at least what was left of it.
Seems he was in a fishin'
accident of sorts. His method of fishin' was
ta tie a rock to a string, then tie an M-80
to the other end. That was back when M-80's
still had some powerful kick for what was
called a firecracker. 'Course when ever'thing
went right, this illegal technique did
produce a good batch a fish floatin' to the
top of the creek.
In what I am guessin' was
his last attempt to fill his bucket, the
string got wrapped around his thumb and as he
tossed the rock, it snugged the M-80 right
against his thumbnail. 'Course he lost the
nail in the explosion along with the better
part of any meat above the first knuckle.
I've heard lots a fish stories, but this is
the only one about the thumb that got away.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
|
Sponsored by
Workman's Loan
|
Weekly Column
The Super Handyman
Dear Al & Kelly: Ive
been working on refinishing a table for a while
now. The biggest problem I had was getting the
sandpaper into the smaller cracks. The abrasive
paper just went to pieces by itself. I tried
putting a credit card inside the folded paper and
had much better luck. The credit card gives the
sandpaper a supportive backing to help it stay
strong while I work it into the cracks. It made
al the difference. My cards are all
"maxed" out anyway, so why not put them
to some better use for a while?
Dear Kelly: Our high-rise
apartment building is convenient to work, but
there are some drawbacks. We have a key for our
door, a key for our elevator, a key for our
parking garage, one for our storage room and
another for the utility area. Its hard to
keep up with all the keys, so we got organized.
The keys are color-coded now, with those plastic
caps they sell at locksmith shops. We got a
different color for each area, and it matches the
walls, floor or something in that area to make it
easy to pick out the right key. It has really
saved us some time and aggravation.
SUPER HINT-If you are tired of
finding powdered shop compounds ruined because of
humidity, try putting them into sealable plastic
bags and then put them back into their boxes.
ARCHIVES Index
|
|
|
Copyright 1997 by Heritage Publishing.
All rights reserved.
|