today's
laugh
They're very prominent. Their furniture
goes back to Louis the 14th; their silverware to Henry
the 8th... And their automobile goes back to the finance
company tomorrow.
Everything he touches turns to gold.
Everything I touch they make me put back.
I ate lobster last evening for dinner
and all night I dreamed.
Bad dreams?
Yeah, I dreamed I paid the check.
Junior, don't ever again use such bad
words.
But, Mother, Shakespeare uses them.
Well, don't play with him any more,
then.
1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
He Wanted Heavy Damages.
The electric railway employees are
telling a good story on Roadmaster Jack Maret. Monday
evening a half drunken passenger was ejected from a car
near Prosperity for refusing to pay his fare. The car was
brought to a standstill and the fellow got off without
its being necessary to use force.
When the car moved on the fellow laid
down beside the track and whenever a car passed would
groan and carry on at a great rate. Finally the work car
came along and the crew stopped and inquired what was the
matter with him. He replied that he had been kicked off a
moving car and that his leg had been broken. He was very
tenderly borne into the car and a bed of cushions made
for him.
He was taken to Joplin and the company
physician summoned. Whenever the doctor would approach
the apparently suffering man he would yell and refuse to
allow him to touch him.
The doctor believed that the fellow was
shamming and said so, but Roadmaster Maret went out and
bought a pair of crutches for him. The fellow wanted
money and Mr. Maret arranged to meet him the next day and
compromise the matter.
The injured man went away, slowly
swinging himself along on the crutches till out of sight,
and then, suddenly regaining the use of his limbs, tried
to pawn the crutches. Maret soon heard of his attempt and
was soon hot on his trail, vowing vengeance.
The pursued and pursuer caught sight of
each other about the same time. The former dropped the
crutches and the two began a lively race. The injured won
out, but the claim agent recovered the crutches.
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Today's Feature Raisin' of the Green Rescheduled
The Raisin' of the Green
Auction, which was scheduled to be held March 14,
but was cancelled due to inclement weather, has
been rescheduled. It will be held Sunday, April
18 at 1:30 p.m. Memorial Hall in Carthage is once
again the location for this event. This event is
an annual auction sponsored by the Retail
Committee of the Chamber.
A large variety of products and
services were donated from community businesses
for the auction. Some of the items will be found
in a silent auction where people may come and
write in their bid. Other items will be auctioned
off with Danny Hensley acting as auctioneer.
Items available include gold
coins, clocks, a patio umbrella, gas grill, lawn
mower, weed eater, lamps, original artwork, hotel
accommodations, and a wide variety of gift
certificates and many others.
The funds raised by this event
are used throughout the year to help promote the
retail community through promotional events and
advertising through out the area.
Food and drinks will be
available.
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Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
Have ya ever noticed how
things come in clumps? Course ya have,
ever'one knows about the clump clause.
Mechanics know of this
phenomenon. All the sudden ever'one that
comes in has a starter bad. Next week it will
be shock absorber problems, the next brakes.
Seems that ever'one is on the same cycle.
'Course clumps aren't
confined to mechanical things, any random
activity at one time or another gets rolled
into a clump.
I went for nearly ten years
without havin' a car accident, then about
fifteen years ago I had three within' a six
month period. What scares me is whether that
was the only clump of accidents I will have,
or if it was just a forewarnin' of what to
expect. Ever'day I make it without an
accident, may be pilin' up in a clump some
where, just waitin'.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin'.
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Sponsored by
Oak Street health & herb
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Weekly Column
Natural Nutrition
by Mair An Willis
Energy and spring, just seem to
go hand in hand..or so we hope. Fatigue appears
to be a common complaint these days. It is just
that spring offers so many opportunities to
overwork and under love oneself? Is it a time
when we have been given the opportunity to smell
the roses and spring flowers and have forgotten
how for any number of reasons?
Spring is often referred to as
a time for cleaning and new beginnings. A time
for cleaning the garage, yard, drapes, workshop
and even one's head. Letting go of past
experiences so that new ones may enter our lives,
going on a diet, new hair cuts and a look at
where we stand with our "new year
resolutions." This is a time to plant seeds
and new ideas and traditionally to "spring
clean" the body.
Traditionally this was a time
of the year to drink sassafras tea. Sassafras was
called a "spring medicine" to purify
the blood and cleanse the entire system. It was
used to flush out the system and the aroma was
enjoyable. Sassafras is often found in
combination with other cleansing herbs for its
delightful flavor. It is suggested in Jethro
Kloss's book Back to Eden that the tea
should not be taken for over one week at a time.
For internal cleaning Cascara
Sagrada bark was used for chronic constipation.
Again, Mr. Kloss considers it one of the most
reliable and time proven remedies and states that
he has used the product safely for over thirty
years when needed. Our native Americans called it
"sacred bark." It is noted that only
the aged bark should be used. One year seems to
be sufficient.
ARCHIVES Index
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