today's
laugh
Boxer: Have I done him any damage?
Disgusted Second: No, but keep
swinging. The draft might give him a cold.
That was a beautiful horse you were
riding Sunday, but why did you have that piece of iron
tied to her tail?
Well, I felt sorry for her. She kept
switching the flies off with her tail. So I tied the iron
on her tail so she could kill 'em and then they couldn't
come back to bite her.
Let's go and play some poker.
No, thank you. I don't play the game.
I was under the impression you played
poker.
I was under that impression myself -
once.
I saw the first act, but not the
second.
Why not?
I couldn't wait that long. It said on
the program - second act two years later.
Are you the celebrated lion tamer?
No, I only clean their teeth.
1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have
Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.
A SERIOUS ACCIDENT.
A Well Known Carthage Carpenter
Injured Yesterday at Carterville.
Yesterday afternoon Martin Chenoweth, a
well known carpenter of this city, met with a very
serious injury. He has been working for some time in
Carterville, superintending the construction of the Edgar
mining plant. Yesterday afternoon an iron buck-stave,
weighing about 300 pounds, which was standing near where
Mr. Chenoweth was working, tipped over and the upper end
falling about ten feet, struck him on the head, crushing
his left temple against a beam and breaking the
skullbone.
Mr. Chenoweth was brought directly to
Carthage for treatment, not losing consciousness at any
time, and submitted to a trephining operation, having the
loose bones removed and the depressed portions raised.
The operation, which was performed by
Drs. Brooks, Ketcham and Freed and lasted about two
hours, was eminently successful, and Mr. Chenoweth is
apparently resting easy today.
The injury is very serious and the
surgical operation performed was a most difficult one. It
is hoped Mr. Chenoweth may recover, but his condition
will be critical for the next few days.
A Wonderful Cow.
A. M. Wallingford of this city has the
most wonderful and economical cow on record. For a long
time Mr. Wallingford noticed that the animal would eat
but little, seeming not to be hungry, yet keeping in good
flesh.
He also wondered at another
peculiarity. In milking he invariably found one-half of
the udder stripped dry, while the other half contained
plenty of milk. He pondered over the matter for some time
without ferreting out the cause. Finally he discovered
that the cow was sucking herself, but divided evenly with
her keeper. When she got her half of the milk she would
lie down and contentedly wait for Mr. Wallingford to come
and get his half.
Thus she is self-supporting and is no
expense to keep. This is Al Wallingford's story.
|
Today's Feature Council Business.
A somber City Council met
Tuesday night in regular session under the
guidance of Mayor Pro Tem J.D. Whitledge. The
condolances of the Council and City were
expressed during the invocation for the passing
of Mayor Johnsons wife, Doris.
The Council authorized the
Mayor to sign a contract with Hunter Appraisals,
of Joplin, for $3,500 to appraise proposed new
airport property just north of City limits. A
related Council bill for appraisal review
services by the Valuation Group, of Springfield,
for $7,500 was denied in an 2-8 vote. Council
members Brewer and Dunaway voted for. City
Administrator Tom Short recommended the bill be
defeated because he considered the review cost to
be excessive.
The Council also voted 10-0 to
authorize the Mayor to sign a contract with
APAC-Missouri, Inc. (Masters & Jackson) of
Springfield for asphalt products and services.
The company submitted the low bid of $21 per
applied ton of asphalt.
Public Works Committee Chair
Bill Fortune reported that the committee
conducted a public hearing concerning the future
operations of the Post Office in Carthage.
Fortune reported citizen support from those
attending the meeting for the Post Office to
maintain retail operations at its current
location. The next Public Works meeting May 18th
will include a public hearing on the sidewalk
repair and maintenance ordinance under
consideration. Mr. Gary Smith of the Missouri
Forestry Department will be present to discuss
how trees impact sidewalks. Fortune urged anyone
interested to attend the hearing.
Finance Co-Chair, Lujene Clark,
reported on several motions that passed in
Committee. The Committee recommended the Council
change the current phone service plan within ATT
to a lower business rate. The Council approved.
Clark also reported that the Committee was
recommending, with a 3-1 vote, modifying Accounts
Receivable forms submitted by outside agencies
for reimbursement. No action was taken by the
Council because the modification will need to be
in the form of a Council bill.
Public Services Chair, Larry
Ross, put forth a motion for the City to pay
$355.60 for one-half of the cost of a plaque
honoring KOM Baseball League. The motion passed
10-0 and the plaque will be placed in Municipal
Park. He also invited the Council to attend the
next meeting at the golf course on June 7th. The
Committee will discuss a one-dollar per diem
surcharge for golfers. The funds would be used
only for capital improvements at the golf course.
Tree USA will also be discussed at that time.
A resolution put forth by
Budget/Ways and Means Committee Chair, Jackie
Boyer, to allow Police Chief Dennis Veach to
purchase summer uniforms to be worn during
special events was passed. The cost of the
uniforms will stay within the current department
budget.
Council Member, Don Stearnes
reported that the library needs volunteers
between May 31-June 5 for the upcoming Heartland
Chautauqua event. Needs include chauffeurs for
tours, someone to greet and hand out programs and
sledgehammers for raising the tent. The Boy
Scouts will occupy the tent overnight for
security purposes
Former Council member Donna
Harlan addressed the Council and requested that a
regular bus route be established since the recent
closing of Consumers Market has placed a
hardship on many older residents. She further
pointed out that the bus versus taxi savings
could amount to as much as three-dollars per trip
and could be better spent for groceries or
medicine.
|
|
Just Jake
Talkin'
Mornin',
I grew up hearin and
usin the phrase "thats
corny." The term was typically used to
describe a "corny" joke, or in some
instances a person that either told corny
jokes or just acted corny. Im
sittin here tryin to define the
term without tellin a corny joke. I
suppose its like ya hear, "I
cant describe it, but I know it when I
see it."
In school, there was always
a corny teacher or two, tryin to tell
jokes or be humorous. The kids would laugh
and this would only encourage more corn. It
was a vicious circle. Usually the term
wasnt intended in a harmful way, just
matter of fact like, just accepted. The truth
was, most folks seem to enjoy a little corn
now and then, speakin of the verbal
kind of course, and that aint chicken
feed, pop.
This is some fact, but
mostly,
Just Jake Talkin.
|
Sponsored by
Carthage Printing Services
|
Weekly Column
Click and Clack Talk Cars
Dear Tom and Ray:
I have a significant mystery on
my hands. I installed a completely rebuilt
500-cubic-inch (1975) Cadillac engine in my 1981
GMC Suburban. I then towed a travel trailer
11,500 miles and it used a quart of oil every 300
miles. I'm not leaking any oil. The Suburban does
not smoke on start-up or during normal driving. A
compression and leak-down test was performed and
the results were normal. The PVC valve was
replaced.
I also tried switching from
10W-30 to 20W-50, and still no change in the oil
consumption. I then replaced the umbrella valve
stem seals with official Cadillac valve stem
seals. Still no change. Any ideas? -Charlie
RAY: Yeah, I think you need
some official Cadillac rings, Charlie. I think
the rings on this engine never seated properly.
TOM: When engines are new, the
metal oil-control ring take some number of miles
to mold precisely to the walls of the cylinders.
That usually happens during what we call the
break-in period.
RAY: If the rings don't seat
properly, oil will - forevermore - sneak around
the rings and get burned in the combustion
chambers. And that's what's happening in your
engine.
TOM: During the break-in
period, you're supposed to drive the car
especially gently, in order to allow the rings to
seat. But instead of driving gently, you towed a
house around behind you! And towing is probably
the hardest thing you can ask an engine to do.
RAY: So I think you ruined it,
Charlie. Unless the engine was not rebuilt
properly, you cooked it by towing with it during
break-in. The good news is that you're driving a
Suburban, and you can throw a 55 gallon oil drum
in there and set up a drip feed!
ARCHIVES Index
|
|
|
Copyright 1997-1999 by Heritage
Publishing. All rights reserved.
|