Mornin' Mail

The Mornin' Mail is published every weekday except major holidays
Monday, October 4, 1999 Volume VIII, Number 76

Did Ya Know?. . .The American Red Cross monthly meeting will be at noon, Monday, October 4 at the Arc Office, 706 Orchard Carthage. The merger between the Carthage and Joplin Chapters will be the focus of the meeting. All board members are urged to attend this important meeting.

Did Ya Know?. . .The Fourth Building Bridges and Strong Families Fair will be held from 1-5 p.m. on October 23, 1999 at the Northpark Mall in Joplin, MO. There is no cost for participating in the displays or other activities. If you or your organization would like to provide a booth for displays, contact University Outreach and Extension at 417-358-2158.

today's laugh

Teacher: If you added 500, 456, 67, 134, and 13, the divide by 33, what would you get?

Student: The wrong answer.

First Man: I got my wife a lady's wrist watch.

Second Man: Did she like it?

First Man: Yes, but the lady came and took it back.

I lost my job because of illness and fatigue.

That's too bad.

Yeah, my boss got sick and tired of me.

1899
INTERESTING MELANGE.
A Chronological Record of Events as they have Transpired in the City and County since our last Issue.

He Was Tired of Walking.

Constable A. L. Yoder, of Alba, last night brought in a young man from Alba charged with stealing a horse at Clinton, Mo. The young man's name is John Hoover. He was reared near Clinton and comes of a good family. On the way to Carthage he told Mr. Yoder that he took the horse, but had no intention of stealing it. He was tired and took the horse from a pasture, rode it to a neighboring village and turned it loose, thinking it would go home again.

Hoover has been mining at Alba for about three weeks. He has a half brother there who is a steady, honest miner, respected by his acquaintances. Hoover is now in jail here awaiting the arrival of the Clinton officers who will probably be here this evening and take him to Clinton tonight.

Mrs. Will Garland, formerly Miss Adah Turner, is up from Muscogee, Indian Ter., for a month's visit with her mother.

Today's Feature

Chamber News Release.

"Your Board of Directors of the Carthage Chamber of Commerce have devoted many hours interviewing former employees, reviewing policies and procedures, and reviewing the recently completed audit by Mense, Churchwell and Mense. The Board has unanimously concluded that in no way has there been any illegal action or willful wrong doing by the Executive Director, Heather Kelly. The audit report has recommended several policy and procedural changes. These changes have already been implemented. We as a Board will continue to monitor any other areas of concern.

"No one has benefited from the distractions of the past few months. We deeply regret the tactics employed by the Chamber's accusers and do not wish to engage in a mudslinging contest. The Board of Directors whole-heartedly supports and is anxious to resume the current program of work created by the Executive Director. The Board stands ready to assist Ms. Kelly in the achievement of these goals to help insure the future growth and betterment of our community."

Just Jake Talkin'
Mornin',

Then there was the ostrich that lived in a zoo with a number of other members of similar persuasion.

One day he awoke late and came out of his little abode and wiped the sleep from his eyes. He looked around.

All around him was a collection of other ostriches. They all had their head stuck in the sand, hiding from the late mornin’ sun. The late comer looked around a bit and then figuratively scratched his head.

"Where is everybody," he asked.

This is some fact, but mostly,

Just Jake Talkin’.