Did Ya Know... The Christmas parade will be today at 7 p.m. The First Christian Church will collect gift items along the parade route for the Carthage Crisis Center.

Did Ya Know... English classes and tutoring are available Mon. - Fri. from 8 a.m. to noon and Tues. and Thurs. from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the Family Literacy Council.

Did Ya Know... The OATS bus runs from Carthage and Sarcoxie to Joplin each Tuesday. To schedule rides, call 358-4662 or 1-800-770-6287 on Mondays.

Did Ya Know... Each Friday night in December Santa and the Red Bus will give approximately one-hour tours of the Carthage Christmas Lights. The cost will be $1.50 per person with children under 5 FREE. Tickets will go on sale at 5 p.m. at the regular Bus Stop site on the northeast inside corner of the Square.

Waiter: How did you find the steak, sir?

Customer: Oh, quite by accident ... I moved the potato and there it was underneath.

This is a funny world. If you do wrong you get fined - if you do right you get taxed.

"Is your husband a bookworm?"

"No - just an ordinary one."

Firemen Met In Carthage.

The officers and directors of the Southwestern Firemen’s association held their annual business meeting at the Carthage fire department headquarters Sunday morning at 10 o’clock. Those in attendance were; President W. T. Griffith, of Joplin; Secretary Bill Porter, of Carthage; Directors O. E. Branning, of Ft. Smith, Arkansas; W. H. Holmes, of Pittsburg, Kansas; Inspector General C. A. Hunes, of Neosho; T. Hargis, of Weir City, Kansas; J. W. Rice, of Ft. Smith, Arkansas; G. T. Mayes, of Fayetteville, Arkansas; and Assistant Chief Burgy, of Ft. Smith, Arkansas.

There is no pain or discomfort when Tabler’s Buckeye Pile Ointment is used. It relieves that itching increased by scratching. It is prepared with scientific accuracy and professional knowledge, and cures blind, bleeding, itching and protruding piles with no pain. A. H. Caffee & Co.

Now I know how the turkey feels. I’m stuffed.

I suppose that constitutes a reasonable excuse to begin Christmas shoppin’. Walkin’ off the excess and at the same time helpin’ to expand the local economy.

The Carthage shops seem ta be in good shape for the season. New merchandise, expanded lines, unique shops and gifts. It should be a good draw for locals and out of towners alike.

The Chamber had some dinner openin’s come available. Give ‘em a call if you want to enjoy a good meal and a tour of the Christmas lights on the Double Decker.

The lights on the water tower on Main won’t be put up this year ‘cause of delays in gettin’ it painted. It should look good for next year I suppose.

The Carthage Main Street sponsored Christmas Parade tonight will give ya an opportunity to get out and see what’s goin’ on downtown so make it if ya can.

Ho, Ho, Ho.

This is some fact, but mostly, Just Jake Talkin’.

by Carthage Farm & Home Supply, Inc.

The Super Handyman

Dear Al:

Recently, I picked up several tires that inconsiderate motorists had dumped along the highway. I had them in the pickup, thinking I’d drop them off at a collection place. Then I had a brainstorm. I stacked three tires around an outside hydrant that I wanted to protect from freezing. I filled the inside space with crumpled newspapers to act as insulation. A plastic trash bag covers the entire affair and I’m not afraid of ending up with a burst pipe. Of course, next spring I’ve still got those tires to deal with. - D. V.

Q: What would cause vinyl siding to buckle? - T. W.

A: Probably it was a bad installation that caused this. Vinyl expands and contracts with temperature changes and if the panels are nailed down tight in the slots, the vinyl doesn’t have room to expand and contract without buckling. Maybe you can get in under the panels that are affected and pry up the nails.

Q: How can we make our concrete steps less slippery when wet? - E. S.

A: Into 10 parts water, mix one part muriatic acid. This etches the surface to make it less slippery. When the acid quits being active, rinse it off with lots of water to prevent any damage to the landscape. There are also nonslip strips that are peel and stick to make the steps slipproof.